’24 Asking Complicated Question In Intro Course Clearly A Genius

In Computer Science 1—Introduction to Programming and Computation—while Professor Winger was lecturing about assigning variables, ’24 Mark Rutger asked an advanced question about object-oriented programming, something that had not yet been covered. This very complicated question signaled to the rest of the class that Mark Rutger must be an absolute fucking genius. 

“Rutger is a brilliant young man,” said Professor Winger, “Just an amazingly creative mind. We don’t learn about objects and classes until Week 6, so the fact that he somehow knew that in Week 2 is just phenomenal. This is the kind of genius that can only be cultivated by already taking AP Computer Science in high school.” 

The students all agreed with the professor’s assessment: “Mark is just so, so naturally talented at CS. His question shows how he’s so much smarter than all of us,” said the entire 210-person class, before collectively chanting, “We bow to you, we bow to you, we bow to you, we bow to you…”

We attempted to interview Rutger directly, but his intellect was so overpowering that the interviewer combusted into a cloud of embers after gazing upon him with naked eyes.

At press time, Rutger was last seen bragging to a girl that he does cutting edge research with an award-winning professor in his lab. Rutger’s role in the lab mainly consists of looking at pre-generated spreadsheets and highlighting big numbers.

–NS ’23