“I’ll Have More Free Time Next Term,” You Said, Last Term

Recent reporting reveals that you told your friend that your inability to spend time with them was because you were too busy with classes, and assured them you would have more time next term to hang out with them. Further investigation finds that you said this last term, and in fact every term before that. 

“I’m sorry I haven’t had much time to hang out with you this term. CS 1 and Chem 5 are just awful. But once I get the hang of things, I’ll have so much more time next term,” you said last term, forgetting entirely about CS 10 and Chem 6. “I’ll definitely be much more free as I take more advanced courses and I get deeper into my major.”

Before then, it was because of Rush, choosing the “hard Writing 5” followed by the “hard writing seminar,” all the way back to Freshman Fall where you were busy promising your grandma that you’d call her at some point.

Interestingly, your empty promises extend to more than just your friends. At the beginning of each term, you resolve yourself to be more engaged in certain clubs like the DOC, only to skimp out week three saying “oh I’m really busy this week, maybe next week.” This sentence will be repeated during weeks four through ten.

At press time, it was revealed that in the year 2032 you would tell your old college friends that you’d love to have a reunion, and that you’d find the time once you land that promotion, pay off your mortgage, and have your first kid.

–NS ’23