Linebacker Poses With Football As If He’s Ever Touched One In A Game

Fans couldn’t help but notice that in recent Dartmouth football promotional photos linebacker Adam Grant ’23 was posing with a football, despite never having touched one in a real game or even during practice.

The photographer, Steven Tang, noted that Grant was unusually excited when it was his turn for pictures, and bounded up to the prop table like a “kid in a candy shop.” Tang believes that Grant’s reaction indicated that he was wholly unfamiliar with the concept of the football as an object.

“Yeah, it was the strangest thing,” said Big Green quarterback Max Waters ’22, “He started poking it with two fingers, talking about how it was ‘not as squishy’ as he’d thought, and he kinda did that for a while. Then he started… I think he was petting it?”

Luckily, the team was extremely supportive of Grant’s unprecedented approach to his position. Head Coach Cal Bronson was particularly proud of Grant. “He doesn’t get to do this often, so this is huge for him,” said Bronson, “I want him to enjoy this while it lasts. But, to help him transition back into his normal role, we did buy him a Nerf football. He seems to be taking to it well.”

At press time, Grant was on his knees and in tears after accidentally popping the Nerf ball.

–NS ’23