Spain Condemns Phoebe Bridgers’ Stance In Morocco-Spanish Standoff

Observers at the United Nations were unsurprised when Spain and the Polisario Front rose today to introduce a motion condemning twenty-eight year old American indie-rock musician Phoebe Bridgers for her illegal and unjust intervention on behalf of Morocco in disputes with their respective nations. 

The conflict began with a Rolling Stone interview with Bridgers, in which she revealed that her powerful ballad “Punisher” of the eponymous album “Punisher,” was not a tribute to the late singer-songwriter Elliot Smith, as had previously been assumed, but rather to King Muhammed V of Morocco (1909-1961). In the interview, Bridgers described her admiration for his anti-colonial and proudly Moroccan nationalist stance. “Why are my songs so sad?” she asked rhetorically. “Because Morocco is still not free of imperialist domination. I cry for the systemic suffering the Maghrebi people have endured, and for their eternal resistance.” 

Shortly after the interview was published, Bridgers posted a now-deleted tweet reading “Death to French and Spanish Colonialists! Allah, A-Watan, Al-Melek! (God, Homeland, King)” as well as a link to stream her latest single, “Day After Tomorrow.”

“It was inevitable, then, that Ms. Bridgers would cancel the Spanish leg of her world tour,” explained Government professor John Hatterman. “So long as Spain maintains sovereignty over the cities of Ceuta and Melilla, no Moroccan patriot would perform in Spain. But what was not inevitable was that she would replace that leg with a highly controversial leg in the Western Sahara.” 

The Western Sahara, the sparsely populated desert Sahrawi homeland, is illegally occupied by Morocco against United Nations protest. Despite severe condemnations from the Sahrawi nationalist organization, the Polisario Front, Bridgers spent twelve days playing rural villages in the Western Sahara to audiences of just dozens. The tour culminated in the capital city Laâyoune, where Bridgers burned a Sahrawi flag and led the crowd in public chants of loyalty to the current king, Muhammed VI. 

Despite these provocations, Hatterman is doubtful about the fate of the condemnation in the United Nations. “ These resolutions are often popular, but rarely succeed. Look at the precedent. Despite the best efforts of the Soviet Bloc during the Cold War, Elvis’s hip gyrations were never classified as war crimes. And repeated British condemnations of Michael Jackson’s unabashedly pro-Argentine stance came to nothing in Geneva. Sadly, these failures of diplomacy often led to military escalation, such as when, on a cold February morning in 1959, the United States Air Force shot down the plane carrying ‘The Big Bopper’ J. P. Richardson, Ritchie Valens, and Buddy Holly for their support of ousted Iranian prime minister Mossadegh.”

 — JR ’25