Wholesome UGA Helps Homesick ’26 With A New Mannequin Family!

In the weeks approaching winterim, ’26 Rebecca Balone was feeling eager to go home. “After the initial excitement of freshman year wore off, I just felt alone,” she says, “I missed my friends and my house, but most importantly, I missed my family.” Little did she know that her hardworking UGA, Patricia Crawford ’23, had just the remedy for her homesick floor resident: three life-sized mannequin replicas of Rebecca’s family! This past Wednesday, Rebecca returned to her single dorm after a long day of classes and found a tea party assembled just for her. The attendees? A grinning Patricia and Rebecca’s new family!

“I remember how hard it was being away from my family for the first time,” explained Crawford, “But then I realized I could fix that myself!” she continued, enthusiastically gesturing to a set of mannequins modeled after her own family, each bearing the stretched visage of one of her sibling’s faces. 

Crawford declined to explain the process behind her creation, but one floor resident confided that “they felt like leather and smelled like dried blood.”  

Crawford focused on the positive effect they’ve had for her floor residents in the past. “I see myself in all these homesick ‘26s, I really do. I see kids looking for a place here. I found mine, and now I want to help them find theirs,” she said, brushing the stringy hair of a mannequin and repainting its lifeless eyes.

Crawford herself was almost brought to tears during our interview with her. “I’m just so happy that I can provide these ‘26s with the supportive family I never had- well, not never. I have them now!” she said, manipulating the hands of her ‘family’ to wave. According to her supervisor, Crawford has remained busy these last few weeks: “She’s really just taken her duties above and beyond. She’s taking these new families to accompany their nervous students to class, and she’s always out on supply trips. It’s admirable, and other UGAs should view her as an example.”

The whereabouts of Rebecca Balone’s real family are currently unknown. When approached for comment, Balone was sitting listlessly on her bed as Crawford lifted the hand of her new mother and stroked it across her cheek. “This mommy will always love you, Rebecca. Not like real mommies. Real mommies are wretched and spiteful,” Crawford whispered. Balone squeezed her eyes shut, holding back euphoric tears.

— CT ’26