Five Ways To Make Friends With Your Floormates

Winter can be a time of loneliness and homesickness, especially in the cold, dark winter months. Looking to get out of a rut? Try and make some friends on your floor! 

Item #1: Introduce Yourself!

Try introducing yourself with your name, pronouns, and intended major when you run into your floormates for the first time! During my freshman year, I used this strategy to make a great first impression on Frank––a Philosophy major who lived two doors down from me in French Hall. Unfortunately, my second rendez-vous with Frank didn’t go as well: he “accidentally” walked in on me while I was in the shower and kind of just stood there staring at me for a solid five seconds before eventually closing the door. I’m still not sure what to make of the incident––I think I might be a bit traumatized? But anyways, my budding friendship with Frank shows that introducing yourself properly is key––which is related to a lock, an item that the girls’ bathroom should probably have.

Item #2: Smile And Nod When They Talk!

If you want your floormate to see that you’re friendly, just smile and politely nod your head when you’re speaking with them. Make sure to also add polite interjections to the conversation, like “that’s awesome,” “so sorry to hear that,” or a frisky remark if you’re feeling bold.

Here’s an example of said boldness: Frank walking in on me while I was showering! And when I confronted him about it afterwards, he didn’t apologize, or express any shame. He just looked at me weirdly, told me that it’s “not my fault that you’re such a trollop,” and left. This goes to show that even though each floormate has their own unique way of communicating with others, you can never go wrong with a big, wide smile. 

(Said smile would almost be as wide as the shower door when my horny floormate Frank opened it as far as it could go––so far, in fact, that he almost broke the hinges! But apparently, I’m the attention-seeking trollop according to Frank! Makes total sense, right?)

Item #3: When in Doubt, Ask Your UGA!

My UGA didn’t do shit for me when Frank saw me naked! It’s actually kind of bizarre––I was expecting them to offer comfort and give me the number of Dartmouth’s Title IX services, but nahhh: they just said something like “sorry that happened” and immediately went back to nursing their half-smoked joint and hosting an awkward face-time call with their freshman-year hookup. Knowing my luck, I’m surprised that said hookup wasn’t Frank! 

But unless you have Maggie Giacchino as your Undergraduate Advisor, odds are that they’ll be a great resource for you if you ever run into a bit of trouble with a floor- or roommate. Because if there’s one type of person who should be trusted to sensitively and professionally handle sexual harassment allegations, it’s a twenty-one-year-old student at Dartmouth College.

Item #4: Attend a Fun Floor Party

This suggestion might sound a bit odd, since freshmen parties have a less-than-stellar reputation. But you know what’d be even worse? Your social life if you decided to not attend because you don’t want to run into your creepy floormate and his friends! Don’t be such a buzzkill, he didn’t do anything wrong, it was probably an accident––or at least, that’s what some of your classmates said when you told them about the incident in the showers. Plus, why should a bit of “boys will be boys” behavior keep you from socializing with new floormates and potential creeps friends?

And that brings us into our final bit of advice…

Item #5: Move to Another Hall And Hope to God You Don’t Run Into Frank. Never Step Foot In A Frat Again, Don’t Rely On The Administration For Assistance, And Try to Put The Whole Incident Behind You. Because That’s All You Can Do At This Point, Right? Just Put. It. Behind. You.

Self-explanatory!

— A.C. ’26

If you or someone you know is experiencing sexual harassment, stalking, or gender-based discrimination, please contact one of the following resources: WISE hotline (866-348-9473), Dartmouth Counseling Center (603-646-9442), Title IX Office (603-646-0922), or Dartmouth Safety and Security (603-646-3333)