Introducing Dartmouth’s New A Cappella Group: The Waka Flocka Pellas

With the last Pitch Perfect movie being five years behind us, the unwarranted desire and popularity of a cappella is duly fading away. That was until recently with a new addition to the Dartmouth a cappella scene. This year, a new group has taken the campus by storm: The Waka Flocka Pellas, a group that desires to bring a much needed edge to an otherwise prudent and tame genre of music. 

Let’s face it; we’re tired of hearing photogenic loblollies perform Neon Trees. “Here we go again” is right. 

In comes the Waka-Flocka-Pellas to fulfill all of our a cappella needs. The group adds some bite to the art of instrument-less music. Less Sara Bareilles, and more bare-butt shaking. Less love songs, and more fight songs, and none by Rachel Platten. 

“We’re straight lit. Word up homie,” said Dean Geisenger ‘23, the lead singer. Geisenger hails from Westbury, New York, and his stage name is Ice Tray. “We straight murder these beats. No joke.” 

The Waka-Flocka-Pellas have faced backlash regarding how their songs objectify women. The group made sure only to perform songs that were conscious of misogyny. They claim that most of these songs are actually celebrations of raw feminine beauty, such as long flowing hair and booty that go crazy, among other things. Despite the clear upsides to their musicianship, they have not been able to rouse too much notoriety as of yet.    

“I don’t think people get how hard it is to replicate the sound of an 808 drum, or a glock for that matter,” said Ice Tray. “It takes a lot of practice, and technique. He offered to give me a sample, and proceeded to make all sorts of “pew pew” and “bah bah” sounds. 

But, then there’s the group’s bleep guy, Cody. Ugh, Cody. 

“What’s good, my name’s Cody, I’m what’s known as the bleep guy. You know, just here making sure everything’s PG-13 for the show,” Cody said. “Like, without me, we’d never be able to sing in front of audiences.” Everyone hates Cody. 

“We demand respect. We’re not like the vanilla ice cream a cappella groups of the previous years,” said Ice Tray. “We don’t tap dance, or wear silly hats. We’re cold blooded gangstas, and we’re not afraid of anyone.” 

It was becoming very obvious from the interview that these guys were the worst, and not just at a cappella. They couldn’t sing, or dance, and the songs mainly consisted of Cody screaming out bleeps for the more offensive, not safe for work terms in the songs, which was most of the song. 

“Cody sucks,” said Tapeworm. 

The group’s controversy has yet to win over many of those within the Dartmouth community. Clearly, not everyone is ready for their genre-defying work, as they’ve had difficulty keeping the crowd at shows. Their recent show at Chi Gam had very few attendees, but some were fairly notable.

“There’s something intrinsically beautiful about Waka Flocka Flame’s songs when they’re distilled down to their finer features,” said Phil Hanlon ‘77, making an unexpected appearance. “I mean, when he says, ‘girl, drop it to the flo’ I love the way your booty goes,’ it really paints a picture. It’s just so honest, ahead of his time.They said over 32 times that ‘it was a party’, and for once, it actually felt like it was one.”

— C.U. ’23


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