Ultimate Frisbee Too Hard? Try “Penultimate Frisbee”

In light of complaints about the “rigor and intensity” of the Ultimate Frisbee team, the Penultimate Frisbee team has emerged: a space for folks who “enjoy the sport of frisbee but, like, are more chill with it,” explains team founder and captain Rodney Wilkins ‘23. 

Penultimate’s differences from its predecessor start on the surface-level. While Dartmouth’s Ultimate team goes by the formidable name “Pain Train,” the Penultimate team calls itself the “Cuddle Shuttle.” 

“I thought about joining Ultimate Frisbee since they told me it was for everyone, but it turns out that’s only true if you have excellent cardio fitness or you don’t expect to do post-game shoulder massages,” said Ben Kolp ‘25. “The Cuddle Shuttle was perfect. Here, everyone’s a winner, since we don’t keep score. Absolutely no athleticism or competition is involved.”

While other teams spend their afternoons pumping iron before a long, sweaty practice, the members of Cuddle Shuttle prepare for game time by sitting in a circle and talking about their feelings. In most sports, teams will huddle together before a game to hype themselves up. In penultimate, however, this practice has been replaced with a “Cuddle.” 

“Having this time to share how I’m feeling gives me the opportunity to get all of my aggression out before the game,” said Kolp. “I just put ass to grass and let all of my anger out.”

The differences between the sports don’t end there. “In Ultimate Frisbee, they run all over the place,” said team member Jonah Blume ‘25. “That’s really tiring and so much effort. So we modified the game so that everyone walks at a leisurely meander. It slows down the game a lot and keeps us from over-exerting ourselves. We also hand off the frisbee to each other instead of throwing it and have a small conversation in the process to keep the game light and friendly. It helps us build heart-to-heart interpersonal connections.”

In addition, the team position of “cutter” has been renamed. In Ultimate, cutters throw the frisbee between each other as they run down the field. However, since Penultimate eliminates both running and throwing, the term “cutter” is way too violent for the new game. 

“We decided to adapt a different term for the cutter’s role. Instead, the position will be called ‘little snuggly fluffy sweetie baby puppy kitten bunny loveable adorable hugging floofy cuddler,’” said Wilkins.

That being said, Penultimate can be dangerous. This season, one player has already gotten injured. “I was walking and I tripped over an ant and landed on my hand. The doctor says I have a minor sprain in my finger. Technically I wasn’t playing frisbee but it was still really scary,” said Kolp.

The Cuddle Shuttle is calmly hyped for their first game next at BEMA next Tuesday at 7. And if you’re interested in potentially playing Penultimate, join the team after their game for some apple juice boxes and graham crackers.

—C.B. ’26