Tuck Mall To Open Five New Stores

The college announced Tuesday that Tuck Mall will open five new stores by the end of 2023.  The street, which has been notoriously bare of retail, has been bought out by Simon Malls and will nearly double Hanover’s shopping options. The Tuck Mall renovation is a part of the Developing Dartmouth initiative, which aims to modernize the school’s out-of-touch facilities.

In order to create the space for the stores, the Gold Coast and West House dorms will need to be demolished. “These gross old dorms will be removed and replaced with new, more architecturally modern buildings,” said head of Developing Dartmouth Scott Peterson. “We are bringing Dartmouth into the 21st century–specifically, the hypercapitalist consumerism of the 21st century.”

The first floor of the former residence halls will be occupied by storefronts, while the upper levels will be occupied by corporate offices for the two mall managers Simon Malls is hiring. 

The college has not yet commented on where Allen and West House upperclassmen will live in the future and probably never will.

But for those who are worried about Dartmouth losing its 1700s New England charm, no need to worry! As the primary financer, Simon Malls is working closely with Developing Dartmouth to design buildings that fit with the college’s historical architecture style. 

Developers have just finalized their list of stores. “It’s important to appeal to students, who will be our primary clientele. Our stores will be, as follows: Kay Jewelers, AT&T, Pottery Barn Kids, a second Talbots, and, of course, a McDonalds,” said Peterson. Simon’s Tuck Mall will also include one sit-down restaurant, which will probably but not definitely be a Red Robin.

Dartmouth Developing is not stopping here. Next on the agenda: revitalizing the golf course. “No one even golfs there. It’s useless. The space could be much improved and rejuvenated in the form of a mega parking lot.”

— C.B. ’26