April Fool’s Day and You

What you did this April Fool’s Day –VS– What it says about you

Duct-tape your roommate to a wall like a cocoon — You didn’t realize he secretly dressed up like a butterfly beforehand. Just wait…

“Mom, I’m pregnant LOL!” — Adulthood seems so far away to you.

What’s April Fool’s Day? — You don’t live in the English-speaking world.

Cover every surface of your friend’s entire room with post-it notes — You didn’t realize he wouldn’t care, and, oh god it’s been eight months and they’re still there…

Oh shoot, it was April Fool’s Day?? — People post Slowpoke memes on your wall, and it hurts.

Nothing. Duh. — You rarely like a band for more than about a month until they get too mainstream.

Spend your time reading all of Kenny Baclawski’s old Jacko articles — Who are you? Where do you live?! I MUST KNOW

Craft a gigantic alien spaceship, which levitates from the Green, causing mass panic, but then starts playing techno music and opens to reveal a huge April Fool’s Day banner — You have tons of free time, but only one day to show it!

Enter your friend’s room while he’s away, fill it with completely with water, except, cleverly, his fishbowl, which is filled with air — The rules of physics appear not to apply to you.

Totally insert a line into Kenny’s article without him realizing it — You must be the new editors-in-chief of the Jacko. [You’re lucky I’m reading this piece of shit, Ken, let alone contributing to it.]

Send a Get Well Soon card to your friend. When he reads it and asks you about it, explain that times goes backward today. Proceed to punch him in the face — You should probably just talk to him or get your anger issues checked out.

Hnnnnnggggghhhh — Guys, I think Dave has a fishbone lodged in his esophagus.

Hhhhhhnnnnngggggghhh — I dunno man, he’s probably just pranking us.

Hnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggghhhhh — Are you sure? He looks like he’s in pain.

Hhhhhhhhhnnnnnnhhhhggggggghhhhhhh — Dave, we’re sick and tired of your pranks!

…… — Oh god, Dave’s not breathing. You guys killed him! You fucking killed Dave!!

HHNNNNGGGGHHHH — AAAHHH DAVE’S A ZOMBIE

Hundreds of zombies enter Dave’s house, leaving his friends defenseless and cornered. It wasn’t a fishbone at all, it was the onset of a new devastating virus — Well done, science, well done.