Signs Your Relationship With Your Parents Has Improved Since you Left For College

1. Your mom eagerly Skypes with you twice a week!!
2. Your parents send you care packages on every holiday!!
3. Your mom doesn’t snarkily correct you when you use poor grammar in your text messages!!
4. Your mom never raises her voice when she talks to you on the phone!!
5. Your dad never threatens to cut you off financially anymore!!
6. You finally call your mom “Mom” and not “Margaret” !!
7. Your mom finally calls you “Derek” and not “my bastard middle child” !!
8. Your dad slips you a $20 when he comes to visit instead of slipping you an uppercut to the jaw!
9. Your mom emails you New Yorker articles to keep you cultured and intellectually capable instead of emailing you to remind you of your “deplorable cultural ignorance” and how you spend way too much time reading those “trashy graphic novels” and hiding out in the basement playing Halo with “that bitch Sarah” while eating a tub of high calorie cookie dough that will make you and Sarah both break out into a “sea of curdling acne”!!
10. Mom and Dad will both finally force out their first ever “We love you, honey” when you return home for your first winter break.

-ER ’16