New Records from Rauner Reveal School Motto Actually Just Something a Sad Daniel Webster Wrote When His Girlfriend Dumped Him

Newly-discovered writings of Daniel Webster suggest that he penned the Dartmouth motto while desperately trying to win back his girlfriend.

Letters and telegrams sent by the Dartmouth-educated statesman were found in Rauner library last Friday. The documents had been misfiled in the rarely-visited “History of Alternative Social Spaces” section, where they sat untouched for over a century.

The findings reveal that Webster met a woman named Betsy Williams at a mixer with Miss Manners’ Finishing School for Well-Behaved Ladies (now known as Cornell University). After playing a few games of croquet together, Webster asked Williams to waltz with him—and the rest is history.

After that night, Webster sent Williams several telegrams revealing his feelings. The morning after their mixer, he wrote, “Hey that was fun last night STOP Let’s hang out again sometime soon”

Williams seemed to be less invested in the relationship, responding, “Busy every night sad face”

But Webster did not give up. In the following month, he sent Williams nearly thirty telegrams, with messages like “Need 1 for croquet” (sent just after midnight on a Friday) and “Moving picture and chill?” (sent at 3 a.m. on a Wednesday).

Finally, Williams responded, saying that she wanted to “talk about where this relationship is going.” Webster suggested they meet at the BEMA after dark, hoping that he could catch a glimpse of her ankles to check off a Dartmouth 7 spot.

But when Webster arrived at the BEMA, Williams wasn’t there. After a few hours, he began calling her name, thinking she may have gotten lost. At five in the morning, a despondent Webster sent one last telegram: “Where u at? Been yelling into the woods for hours! Come thru”

Alas, Williams never showed up. Webster, heartbroken, sent a sub-telegram to all his friends, writing in Latin to add an air of mystery. It read, “Vox clamantis in deserto #imissher”

The phrase caught on, as seemingly every Dartmouth student had experienced relationship issues: a scandalous ankle exposure, a foxtrot gone awry, an unanswered messenger pigeon. “Vox clamantis in deserto” became an integral part of the student lexicon, and was soon adopted as an official motto.

As of press time, Webster was still waiting for Williams to telegram him back.

LT ’19