Powerful Man Charged with [BAD THING] This Week

Another powerful man was caught [insert Bad Thing here] this week, and he is nothing short of flabbergasted that he has to face the consequences of his actions.

This man is [white, probably] and [in our government/making all of our entertainment] and makes [a truckload of] money each year, yet authorities are downright stumped as to how he got away with [Bad Thing] for [too much time].

“I’m scared,” said Tina Matthews, a woman we interviewed on the street. “But I’m glad [Man] is caught, and I’m hopeful this will lead us to some productive [dialogue/discourse/discussion] that will really make a difference in the future.” [It won’t.]

College student Jett Washington said, “It’s crazy. Really makes you think—what is it about our society that allows people like [Man] to get away with stuff like [sexual assault, that’s what it was, right?] for so long?” Following his interview, Mr. Washington immediately crossed the street back into his fraternity house full of brothers hoping to make it in the [government/entertainment industry, same as before] after graduation.

At press time, a spokesperson for [Man] was unavailable for further comment, but assured staff that [Man] was wrongfully accused, the trial was not fair, and he would be back to doing [Bad Thing, same as before] again soon.

– CC ’21