5 Ways Trump Could Steal The Election

While Democratic nominee Joe Biden has a steady lead on incumbent President Donald Trump, it is still possible that Trump could steal the election. Here are five ways he could do it:

1. Article II of the Constitution dictates that states have unlimited power to choose their electors. For instance, even if Biden won the popular vote in Wisconsin, its Republican-controlled legislature could appoint electors to nominate Trump or a third party candidate, like, for example, Saorsie Ronan, the talented star of Greta Gerwig’s groundbreaking film Little Women.
2. As crazy as it sounds, election officials could simply destroy Democratic ballots, much like Amy March burned Jo March’s writings after not being invited to the theater with Laurie who is played by the deviliciously handsome Timothee Chalamet in the cinematic experience of 2019’s Little Women.
3. Our democratic institutions are vulnerable to foreign influence, whether it be Russia attempting to secure Donald Trump’s victory or  South Korea stealing the Oscar for their so-so movie “Parasite” from the deserving hands of Greta Gerwig and her cast of Little Women.
4. In a close election, a conservative Supreme Court could unjustly deliver Trump the victory, just like the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences made the unbelievable mistake of only giving Little Women the Oscar for costume design, which, to be fair, visionary costume artiste Jaqueline Durran totally deserved.
5. Some experts anticipate we will face an ‘October surprise’, an entirely unforeseeable event that astounds the electorate, like Amy and Laurie ending up together at the end of Little Women, when literally all of us know that it SHOULD have been Jo and Laurie, not Amy, like I love the movie, don’t get me wrong, but Jo and Laurie’s chemistry was frankly inspiring.

-AJ ’23, AK ’23