The recent incident where your classmate rejected your suggestion on their Google Doc to replace the word “explained” with “elucidated” was more than a mere preference of word choice. In fact, it was a targeted…
Following the sickening anti-Asian hate crime which left eight dead in Atlanta, a growing movement has spread on Instagram to “say their names.” However, calls to “say their names” have not stopped activists from continuing…
Don’t get me wrong — I’m not complaining. Overall, I’m very satisfied with the FoCo dining experience. We’re tremendously lucky to have such a dedicated dining staff. But I feel the need to voice what…
Wait. Do you legit pronounce GOP as G-O-P? It’s pronounced Gop (rhymes with blop). Have you just not been paying attention to politics for the last six years? I remember when I used to mispronounce…
Frank Park ’24, who spends his lectures browsing through Instagram, complains that Dartmouth’s Zoom classes are too hard. “I just don’t think it’s fair,” said Park, still scrolling. “Professors assign way too much homework without…
So I was walking down the street the other day, and everyone around me was wearing these masks on their faces. Have you noticed that? Not the ones that cover the whole face – just…
After realizing that “only nerds have time to read stupid books,” the Dartmouth Administration has closed the Kresge and Paddock Libraries. “Only fucking losers want to read,” says President Phil Hanlon ‘77. “Physical Sciences? Music?…
Due to their thinly veiled “initiation” tasks on social media this week, it has become overwhelmingly apparent that secret Senior Societies are really bad at keeping themselves secret. Sources show that every single Dartmouth student…
According to anonymous sources, Andrew Spencer ’22 was tapped into a secret society last week. “I’m not allowed to say anything,” said Spencer, smiling, before adding, “being tapped isn’t a big deal. Tons of people…
Hey babe. Do you have a minute? Yeah. No, I just wanted to say that you know I don’t mind if you steal my hoodies. It’s kinda cute, honestly. But why my retainer too? Like,…
I was studying in Novack last Sunday and I forgot to put my Spotify on private mode. I was tired. I was sad. Yes, I listened to the ska version of “Come on Eileen” covered…
Ethan Cutler, a ’21 majoring in English with a concentration in Creative Writing, recently found himself in email correspondence with his faculty advisor to discuss his poetry manuscript. Cutler’s emails, though riveting, all ended in…