Mason Whitley ’23 has signed up for Last Chances, Dartmouth Marriage Pact, and Datamatch. Despite the fact that all three matchmaking services resulted in zero successful relationships, Whitely has not realized that the problem is,…
Dartmouth student Jack Rowley ’23 says he is worried that he isn’t benefiting as much from being hazed over Zoom as he would have with more conventional hazing. A recent pledge at a Dartmouth fraternity,…
After last Friday’s announcement that the administration would walk back their vow to eliminate five varsity teams, those egomaniacal attention whores are yet again trying to break through the headlines, this time slashing the College’s…
I am so glad CVS locks Plan B in large plastic boxes. This may make people less comfortable as they seek essential healthcare, but it is worth it. Now that Plan B is locked away,…
Instagram, following the success of their “Close Friends” tab, which allows a user to cultivate a list of their closest friends, has rolled out its new groundbreaking feature: the “Worst Enemies” list. App researcher Jennifer…
Although the rapid spread of COVID-19 has forced many colleges like Stanford University to close their doors to students, Dartmouth College has managed to put together elaborate plans to safely bring students back to campus…
Today is January 20th, a day people have been talking about for a while now. A day I was formerly excited for. After four years of little hope, I thought today was going to usher…
1. George Washington George Washington is definitely one of America’s greatest presidents, and more importantly for our purposes, he is also the first one. That’s why we decided to give him #1 on…
A warning from your future self: Trust not the Siren’s Call of the College on the Hill! They shall tempt thee with childish Dreams of Comradery and Education, but lo! these are but illusory Boons-…
Hi Provost! I hope you’re not too busy and I know we already made plans for winter term but my mom just asked to double check and make sure that it’s definitely happening in-person before…
Read the full Fake D here!
You, a woman, are living with your long-term boyfriend. You’re terribly in love with him, but as a result of tensions in your living styles (oh, no!) you’ve watched yourself become more confrontational. Tip: if…