Whether dressed as witches, ghosts, or ghouls, the Class of 2022 indiscriminately showed their true commitment to spooky season as they died en masse this past Wednesday. Frat row was sent into nothing short of…
The Dartmouth Review, unaffiliated with Dartmouth College, was founded by a group of conservative Dartmouth students disillusioned with The Dartmouth in 1980. Known for producing Dinesh D’Souza, Laura Ingraham, and an extended “Controversies” Wikipedia subsection,…
In spite of the exceptional intellectual capabilities and leadership skills that earned them their places at one of the nation’s most exclusive universities, roughly 900 members of Dartmouth’s Class of 2022 remain unconvinced that bull-rushing…
Recent health reports from Dartmouth college have revealed that, in a shocking turn of events, an outbreak of the coxsackie virus, colloquially known as “hand-foot-and-mouth disease,” has been spreading among the student body, members of…
Another powerful man was caught [insert Bad Thing here] this week, and he is nothing short of flabbergasted that he has to face the consequences of his actions. This man is [white, probably] and [in…
Recent College communications have announced that, this year, there will be a series of changes made to the annual Homecoming bonfire. These alterations are meant to assuage concerns on behalf of the town of Hanover,…
With so many young folks milling around campus these days, you’ve probably asked yourself, “is that a camper, or a ‘20?” Take this helpful questionnaire to figure out the answer You ask them what ‘Masters’…
Hey, Jared! I’m so glad you took the time to come to my office hours today. I love getting to talk to students one-on-one, especially when they’re enrolled in a class as big as ENGL1….
In spite of long-standing cultural norms associating the color with femininity and womens’ fashion, Dartmouth senior James MacLaren spent the entire day Wednesday in a casual summertime getup containing two separate pieces of pink clothing,…
Jim Beekman, ’20, showed up to his Astro 2 class sweating last Monday. “It’s really hot outside,” Jim informed his class as he sat down. “Like, really hot.” The class appreciated the alert. “Where would…
Surely, thine enlightened souls of Dartmouth did not believe that the ruse could last forever, did thee? That I, King Arthur, defender of Britain and slayer of the Saxons, would never notice your once-holy institution…
IT’S A GREAT DAY FOR FREEDOM, MY FELLOW PATRIOTS. BILLY HART (’21) WENT TO FOCO EVERY DAY THIS WEEK, BUT NEVER EVEN TOUCHED THE INTERNATIONAL SECTION! FINALLY, SOMEONE FIGHTS BACK AGAINST THE LIBERAL COMMIE AGENDA…