Wow! This Guy Is Really On A Roll With This Game Of Stack Cup
This is crazy. He just got the ball in the cup. And not for the first time either. Now this is really something to see. Everyone else, everyone else keeps on missing the cup. But…
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Pervert! This Guy Eats Plain Yogurt And He Really Likes It
He seemed perfectly normal in my Econ class. He was polite, well kept, and clean shaven. I’ve never personally seen him participate in digressive behavior, but I have eyes everywhere, and people talk. Oh boy,…
The Best And Worst Places To Get A “Nosebleed” On Campus
What’s up Dartmouth! This blog goes out to all of my fellow students with dry noses and poor self control. If the chilly winter term weather has exorbitant amounts of plasma vacating your nostrils, staining…
Bait and Bullet Club Members Shoot Down Chinese Spy Balloon On Hunting Trip In Search of “Good Eatin'”
Dartmouth’s Bait and Bullet club unexpectedly assisted the U.S. military in shooting down the Chinese spy balloon traversing American airspace this week, officials in the Department of Defense confirmed Saturday. “The path of the balloon,…
In Order to Make Up for Wrongdoing, Leon Black Family Visual Arts Center to be Submerged in Chocolate
In the course of discussions to strip Dartmouth’s home for visual arts of its namesake, the College has decided upon a solution for cleansing the space of its negative associations: the college will be dumping…
Fayes Offers New Affordable Laundry Option: The Floor!
After fielding complaints about the high cost of laundry, the Fayerweather buildings have decided to introduce a new reduced-cost option: the floor. “Yeah, the laundry rooms down there always flood when it rains,” said an…
Ultimate Frisbee Too Hard? Try “Penultimate Frisbee”
In light of complaints about the “rigor and intensity” of the Ultimate Frisbee team, the Penultimate Frisbee team has emerged: a space for folks who “enjoy the sport of frisbee but, like, are more chill…
Congressional Committee Determines New COVID-19 Variant Started In Chi Gam Hot Tub
A new congressional committee charged with investigating the origins of the COVID-19 virus has already yielded results. Preliminary findings indicate that the currently dominant XBB.1.5 omicron strain first mutated in none other than the Chi…
Introducing Dartmouth’s New A Cappella Group: The Waka Flocka Pellas
With the last Pitch Perfect movie being five years behind us, the unwarranted desire and popularity of a cappella is duly fading away. That was until recently with a new addition to the Dartmouth a…
DDS Announces “Eat Conscious” Program to Mitigate Rising Food Prices
In a stunning move, Dartmouth Dining Services has announced the imminent implementation of a new nutrition campaign at the College: the “Eat Conscious” Program. “The administration has informed us that Dartmouth’s student population has surpassed…
Five Ways To Make Friends With Your Floormates
Winter can be a time of loneliness and homesickness, especially in the cold, dark winter months. Looking to get out of a rut? Try and make some friends on your floor! Item #1: Introduce Yourself!…
My Winterim Journey With Potty Training Myself: A Reflection
During this winterim break, my social media feeds were full of my classmates skiing, traveling abroad, and hanging out with friends from high school. While my peers spent time at home, I harbored my newfound…