Thinking of Committing a Hate Crime? The Jacko Weighs Your Options

Late Monday night, an anonymous group of students distributed hundreds of flyers promoting an online business selling apparel featuring the College’s now-abolished “Dartmouth Indian” mascot. The act coincided with yesterday’s observance of Indigenous People’s Day and was seen as a hate crime disrespecting the school’s Native community. For those contemplating a similar act, we at the Jacko weighed your options.

So, you think you want to commit a hate crime? Let’s weigh your options.

Yes I do! 

– You’ll be spending time and money on a cause you believe in (racism)

– Some white people will like you more

– You’ll upkeep old traditions of racism and misogyny

– You can simultaneously destroy the rainforests and any credibility you had as a good person

– It’s a great opportunity to reassert your unearned privilege in a public manner

But what if I don’t?

– You’ll have to see all people as human beings deserving of respect

– You’ll have so much printer money you might not use it all by the end of term

– Somewhere, a bigot might go shirtless for a lack of racially insensitive mascot tee shirts that you could’ve provided him with 🙁

– Cackling in the shadows won’t feel as authentically evil

– Your racist uncle won’t be as proud of you

–KS ’16