This place is really going to the dogs. [shakes head sadly]
In my day, we didn’t touch the fire, we got to at least third base with the fire. [melodious sigh]
The Russell Sage Hyphen? We called it the Hymen. [shakes clenched fist at blood supermoon]
Way back when, “Orgo” stood for “Orgasm.” It was still the hardest class. [winks aggressively]
We used to head over to good ol’ Dirty Cowboy for our caf-fiendish fix, if you know what I’m saying. [waggles eyebrows passionately]
In the glory days, “Topside” and “Sarner Underground” were names of sex positions. [flailing stomp]
8 Ball Hall once fit hundreds—nay, thousands of balls! [sobs emphatically]
This place is really going to the dogs. [shakes head sadly]
-TN ’17
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