Two Muffins
There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says “Oh my gosh, it’s getting hot in here!” Then the other one says “Oh my gosh, a talking muffin.” To which the other replies, “Are…
2015
New Course Offerings for 15S!
Comparative Literature 77 Biggie or 2Pac? Acting 0 Unleash your inner Kristen Stewart and stare at things for a few hours with your mouth kinda open. Also fuck a vampire. Not an actual vampire, just…
Castles in the Sand
A Short Reverie About The Serendipitous Meeting That Most Influenced The Rest of My Life I would often go down to the beach without mother or father, but with trusty bucket in hand. I spent…
5 Things That Are Sure to Go Viral This Winter
RSV: Respiratory Syncytial Virus or RSV is definitely gonna catch on. If people keep not washing their hands, (which they won’t) this sick respiratory tract infection is gonna be a hit. Rhinovirus: This is the…
Students addicted to Trivia Crack find solace in actual Crack
After weeks of insomnia and uncontrollable rage, Alexis Carter ’18 is finally on the road to recovery from her Trivia Crack addiction. What’s her secret? Actual crack. “I knew I needed help when I started…
9th Blitz is the Charm
Derek Roberts, ’16, excitedly announced today that he was joining the Korean Women’s Cultural Association after receiving over half a dozen Blitzes from the campus group. He commented: “As a male with no Korean Heritage,…
Dartmouth Voices: Free Higher-Efficiency Washing Machines only tangible improvement to college this term
“I hope this doesn’t shorten the quality time I spend in my dorm’s basement each week” – Sam Roberts ‘16 “So when will Rolling Stone’s critical articles finally start taking the efficiency of our laundry…