National Outrage Over Mistreatment of Avocados at Border

The Trump administration threatened on Friday to shut down the southern border with Mexico if illegal immigration continued. Analysts have warned that such a closure would disrupt billions of dollars in produce trade, especially with regard to seasonal imports of avocados. This potential “avocado drought” has incited tremendous backlash from the American public, being dubbed “by far the worse crime that has taken place at the border literally ever.”

Surveys have demonstrated that the majority of Americans, especially urban dwellers, care more about their ability to secure an avocado than any other political or social issue of the day.

“Oh my god,” Veronica Tailor, a 27 year of LA resident, told reporters. “If I can’t go over to André’s Bistro on 7^th Street and order my favorite avocado toast, I’m seriously gonna write to my Senator for like the first time in my life.” Twitter has erupted in the past week with several avocado-related hashtags topping the trending list, such as #peaceforourpits and #greeninnocence.

In a post with over 75 thousand retweets, Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer wrote on Monday, “We cannot allow the president to take actions which will raise the price of extra guac at Chipotle. THIS IS BORDER INJUSTICE.”

While avocado treatment has become the focal point of the border controversy in recent days, some voices urge Americans to consider the other serious consequences of the border closure. Appearing on Good Morning America, social activist Lisa Kinley stressed, “Most Americans are completely absorbed by the avocado situation, ignoring the other implications of Trump’s border policy. For instance, how the hell am I supposed get the lime for my margaritas? I have rights you know. What am I – a Mexican child seeking asylum in America? They can’t do this to me!”

-GA ’21