Starving Yemeni children weep watching Notre Dame burn to ground: “Truly the most heart-wrenching news story of today”

Starving Yemeni children weep watching Notre Dame burn to ground: “Truly the most heart-wrenching news story of today”

This paper’s foreign correspondents have corroborated accounts of starving children all over Yemen weeping while watching broadcasts of the Notre Dame cathedral’s conflagration. Said Amin Al-Fawad, a fifteen-year old who gets his meals from relief organizations that are often blocked by local militias, “When I saw the flames rising from the cathedral I have seen in postcards my whole life, I knew there was no news story in the whole world more worth following.”

His ailing mother, Nusrat Salman, agreed, saying “You know, when the West refrained from applying sanctions to the Saudi government even after Yemen suffered a massive cholera outbreak due to the chaos, we thought all westerners were heartless. But when I saw that picture of a Parisian woman weeping for a structure that only lost its spire and roof, I realized the depth of western compassion. I’m so glad the news media focused on their pain.” At press time, European donors had raised three times the money for the cathedral’s restoration than the Red Cross spends on disaster relief in a year.

-OK ’21