Straight Cisgender White Girl Claims Pride Parade Only Place She Can Truly Be Herself

Last Saturday afternoon, Maddie Holt, 19, attended her first ever pride parade. Holt, who fellow parade-goers described as “the most privileged cishet you’ll ever meet,” claimed that the annual celebration of the LGBT community was the only place she could truly be herself, describing the experience as “so liberating.”

“It’s just really refreshing to be able to make out with my boyfriend in the middle of the street and not have to fear for our safety,” said Holt, whose straight, cisgender boyfriend further explained that they usually have to limit their passionate displays of affection to safer locations, like the sidewalk, or the park, or literally anywhere else.

Holt also told us how amazing it felt to be surrounded by so many other unapologetically straight, cis girls who like to day drink, wear glitter, and use gay slang. “It’s just such a loving and accepting atmosphere,” she said. “I wish I could feel this free every day.”

Maddie, who was wearing a “Love Wins” crop top and a gay pride flag as a cape, stated that her only complaint about the parade was the behavior of some of the members of the LGBT community at the event. “All these girls keep hitting on me, which is super annoying and kinda weird. Pride is for everyone. What do they think this is, an event just for them?”

When asked about the role she plays in the fight for LGBT rights, Maddie was unable to comment, excusing herself to go watch the performance of the straight, cisgender musical artist who was headlining the event.

-HP ’22