Grad Student Researcher Robert Micks has broken new ground in discovering far-away galaxies, but can he find true love?

“Making these discoveries and knowing what lies light-years beyond the Milky Way has been the most gratifying experience of my life,” said Micks in his lab. He sighed, ran his hand through a pile of papers with equations scrawled across them, then said, “but I’m so, so alone.” 

Micks sat on the floor, looked around his empty laboratory, and crumbled into himself. “I don’t have a family,” he said. “I don’t think I ever will.”

Astrophysicist Learning Fellow Alisya Morentz focused on her new software that earned her a reputation for discovering motion that eludes most others in the field. 

Also with Morentz was data analyst Karen Rogers, crucial in developing the algorithm that drove the search process. 

Morentz described the apparent ease with which she recognized these intergalactic dynamics as opposed to interpersonal ones. She sighed. “I just wish I could find a girlfriend. You know, someone to go ice-skating with in Rockefeller Center or bring roses to or go have breakfasts with in cute little cafés.” 

“Yeah, me too,” said Rogers, before laughing and then sighing. 

The two continued to work in complete and utter silence. 

Edward Stinton, an engineer in some of the world’s highest powered telescopes, regularly dedicates over seventy hours a week to these technical engineering projects.

“I guess you could say this is the best hope I have,” he said, and laughed. “I have a huge personal attachment to my work, and sometimes I’ve even slept at the lab.” He connected the telescope to a monitor so journalists could see what was onscreen. “That blue one?” he said, pointing to a star. “I’ve named it Brian.” Stinton’s voice took on a doting, gentle quality. “I think if he could eat cereal, cinnamon toast crunch would be his favorite. And I would make it for him every day.” He stared vacantly into the telescope. “I wouldn’t mind if he didn’t always clean his room or do his chores.” His voice broke but Stinton didn’t look away. “He would be my son.”

Edward Stinton stood up, fired up an automatic cannon and loaded it with a baseball. “Scientifically, there’s no way he’d ever be able to throw it back,” he said before opening his lab coat to reveal a baseball glove. “But I always have this with me, just in case.”

These scientists, renowned experts in their fields, will continue to work towards greater intergalactic understanding, all the while finding themselves painfully, dreadfully, alone.

-‘SL ‘22