Opinion: US Military Chose The Correct War Machine to Memorialize America’s First Openly Gay Elected Official

Last week, the U.S. Navy launched a super duper large boat that was named after Harvey Milk, legendary gay rights activist and elected supervisor of San Francisco. The super duper large boat is a replenishment oiler, which takes a bunch of really slick oil and pumps it into other super duper large boats, so they can go out there and commit war crimes and stuff, ya know?

Some queer youths (including me) are concerned that the U.S. Navy’s decision to remember Milk’s legacy through an expanding military industrial complex will do more harm than good, but hey–at least it’s The Navy!

I mean, The Navy’s newest and only gay representation boat will definitely be used to needlessly escalate tensions in the South China Sea with its runny, runny oil, and Mr. Milk vehemently opposed the Vietnam War and marched against it and got fired from his job as a financial analyst for his anti-war stance, but Mr. Milk was in The Navy for four years, ya know? On a big, big boat in the middle of the deep, deep ocean for four whole years, ya know? With a bunch of men. At sea. For four years. 

That’s a lot of years to be at sea with a bunch of men. You have to be really sure of yourself to make that kind of decision. Ya know? Like, really sure. 

I mean, it’s The Navy. The Navy The Navy. Do you know how many queer people served in The Navy? How deeply so many loved and were loved for decades over? How many letters were exchanged? Sweet, sweet kisses beneath the soft, soft glow of moonlight at sea?

This is our thing. 

Now, if this war machine was a plane, or an armored combat vehicle, or an armored combat support vehicle, or an M1163 Expeditionary Fire Support System (EFSS) Prime Mover, or even a tank, it would be an entirely different story. Harvey Milk was a legendary gay rights activist who sailed on a boat, goddamnit. And on a boat, and only a boat, his name shall go.

“Now, what about Leonard Matlovich?” you may ask. It’s rather simple. Yes, he was the first openly gay man to serve in the U.S. Military, and yes, he earned a Purple Heart, and yes, he served in the U.S. Air Force, but no, his name should NOT go on a plane. It should go on a, you guessed it, BOAT. Because yes, Boats Are Gay and no, planes are NOT the boats of the sky, and if the best representation of queer people by the U.S. Government can only come in the form of a tool used to perpetuate violence in the name of elite interests at the expense of marginalized peoples across the globe, which is exactly the opposite of what Harvey Milk would have wanted, at least it was The Navy, and least they chose the most correct war machine for the occasion. A boat.

– HP ’22 & VQ ’24