Help! Vice Provost For Enrollment & Dean Of Undergraduate Admissions And Financial Aid Lee Coffin Is Under My Bed!

For the Frankston family, twas a calm autumn night, 

Little Timmy in bed, to his parents’ delight, 

Robert and Sue Frankston were all settled in

Ready for a peaceful night’s slumber to begin

Then all of a sudden, they heard Timmy yell, 

Papa Frankston bolted upstairs, to make sure he was well, 

At the top of the stairs, Timmy cried out and said,

“It’s Vice Provost for Enrollment & Dean of Undergraduate Admissions and Financial Aid, Lee Coffin, he’s under my bed!” 

“Now, now, son,” Robert insisted with a sigh,

“You’re safe here, you don’t need to cry,”

“I checked before bed,” Robert continued with care,

“There’s no Lee Coffin, Vice Provost for Enrollment & Dean of Undergraduate Admissions and Financial Aid, under there” 

“Daddy, please! I’m just so afraid,”

“He’s talking about need-based financial aid!”

“I don’t want to be alone” he said in distress

He’ll tell me about Dartmouth’s holistic review process”

“Thats not it,” Timmy said, aghast

“He’ll force me listen to his admissions podcast”

“Timmy, you’re too old for this,” Robert said with a frown,

“Go to bed now, it’s time to lie down.”

As he walked out the room and turned off the light

Timmy stayed in bed, paralyzed by his fright

For he knew that Lee Coffin, Vice Provost for Enrollment & Dean of Undergraduate Admissions and Financial Aid, was out there, waiting in the night

— JT ’23, AK ’23