Introducing Zip Zap Zop Car, Sponsored By Dartmouth Theater!

The College is excited to announce that a new service will be coming to campus in the spring! You’ve heard of ZipCar, now get ready for Zip Zap Zop Car, named after the popular theater game. The new fleet of seven 2021 orange Kia Souls will be parked conveniently around campus in the existing zip car spots, and not only that, trips will be completely free! You’ll also get to make amazing new friends every time you participate in this involuntary carpool karaoke experience, as four theater kids live in every car and will not leave no matter how many times we ask them to. The only exception is if you agree to drop two of them off at improv practice on the way to wherever you’re going (they don’t have driver’s licenses, except for one, who is the most dangerous driver New Hampshire has ever seen). 

There are just so many perks! If you book 2021 orange Kia Soul #6 and drop Chris T. and Chris B. off at practice, Bev, sitting shotgun, will generously practice their I Ate the Divorce Papers monologue for you while you try to call your mom on speakerphone because you just rear-ended the person in front of you and don’t have the life skills to deal with it. (Don’t worry, three techies are in the trunk just lying in wait). You might even be treated to Kelsey’s rendition of “I Cain’t Say No” from Oklahoma in the backseat, or her famous tap routine from Mary Poppins, though be aware that will entail her kicking the back of your seat for a solid 15 minutes. 

If Bev and Kelsey are too busy making out over the center console, each 2021 orange Kia Soul’s radio capabilities have been disconnected to make way for a CD of the Les Miserables 10th Anniversary Concert Live at Royal Albert Hall soundtrack for your enjoyment. There’s also a CD of the Shrek soundtrack, but don’t play it, or Bev will start a 20-minute rant about how their middle school production was so political, Mr. Valentine basically pre-cast the show, and Cindy G. couldn’t even sing but got to be Fiona because her mom was president of the PTA.

 In the event of a stressful traffic situation, Bev and Kelsey will calm you down by sweetly whispering “red leather yellow leather red leather yellow leather” into your ear and pulling your sweaty hands off the wheel to participate in the pre-left turn squeeze. Finally, all you have to do for your trip to remain free is pick up the Chrises T. and B. from improv on your way to return the car. If you’re lucky, you might even get some signed headshots as a parting gift. We know it will be sad to say goodbye to your new friends when your booking is over, but the show must go on. 

— BM ’26