Introducing Zip Zap Zop Car, Sponsored By Dartmouth Theater!
The College is excited to announce that a new service will be coming to campus in the spring! You’ve heard of ZipCar, now get ready for Zip Zap Zop Car, named after the popular theater…
Hell Yeah
Breaking News Update: Classes Canceled Tomorrow Due to Intergalactic Cosmic Calamity
After careful deliberation, Dartmouth administration has decided that all classes and scheduled operations will be put on hold tomorrow. The decision is largely based on tomorrow’s weather forecast, which predicts an inevitable cosmic calamity, the…
DHMC Introduces Program for Good Sam Regulars: the IV Unlimited Plan
IV Unlimited Plan The IV Unlimited is Dartmouth’s preferred drinking plan. It provides the ultimate in inpatient hospital care, with unlimited access to our flagship medical center, DHMC. Here, students can look forward to the…
Top 6 Ways To Subtly Brag About Your Vitamin D Deficiency During Winter Term
6. Wouldn’t it be crazy to like, have Vitamin D in your system? I personally can’t imagine it. 5. Seasonal depression goes so hard when you have a Vitamin D deficiency. I’m all, “ooh sad,”…
I Used Every Campus Bathroom in ONE DAY! This Isn’t a Ranking I Have Serious Medical Problems Guys!
No like seriously guys, I don’t know what happened. Was it something I ate last night? I woke up and I had to go so so so bad, so I rushed out of my dorm…
Dartmouth Tales from the Deep: the Supernatural Music Department
Deep in the cavernous underbelly of the Hop, there lies a land lost to The Outside. In this lost department, hidden beneath The Earth—behind six stairwells, five doors, four hallways, and three summoning circles—there…
Top 10 Places to Read Fanfiction on Campus
10. Foco Easily the worst of all the places on this list but eating while reading is always fun! (especially when it’s vore) Tag Recommendations: Vore, M-preg, Everything Hurts 9. On Phil Hanlon’s Lawn Best…
Extension Request Mad Libs
Name: _______________________________________________. Greeting: ____________________________________________. Assignment: __________________________________________. Course: ______________________________________________. Body Part: ___________________________________________. Verb Ending in -ing: ___________________________________. Noun: _______________________________________________. Adjective: ___________________________________________. Time: ______________________________________________. Date: _______________________________________________. Event: ______________________________________________. Location: ___________________________________________. Academic Topic: _____________________________________. Major: _____________________________________________. Adjective: __________________________________________….
Classics Department: the Most Homophobic Department was Secretly Gay the Entire Time
As a department centered around boring, old, nationalistic white men from millennia ago, the Classics Department is famously known for the deep rooted homophobia many of its students exhibit. However, it has turned out that…
It’s Fucking Chicken Monday
Hey fuckface! Yeah, that’s right I’m talking to you. Do you smell that? Do you smell that glorious fucking smell on this glorious fucking day that’s wafting down Mass row? That’s right motherfucker. It’s fucking…