5 Things that will happen to you on Green Key Weekend

1. The phrase “Green Key” will start sounding an awful lot like “Drinking.” As in, “I LOVE GREEN KEEEEEY!”

2. You watch a ’99 alum complete a Dartmouth Decade… of the 90’s…

3. In the warm spring weather, decide to hike the Appalachian Trail. Boot everywhere.

4. You realize that the secret ingredient of the Green Key Society is people!

5. After winning a dozen games in a row of Moonwalk Gladiators on the Phi Delt lawn, you are teleported to the actual Moon to fight to the death in the Space Coliseum.