Dartmouth Student Living in Million Dollar House with Best Friends Traumatized by Pandemic

Eyewitnesses say that Lindsay Collier ’22, who is living with seven of her best friends and her boyfriend in a house listed on Zillow as a “$1.2 million, seven bedroom house on a hill overlooking the Connecticut”, has been permanently traumatized by the COVID-19 pandemic.

During our interview, Lindsay broke down and sobbed, “We ordered sushi and wagyu from that really nice Japanese place the other day and I just fell apart because I miss going there with all my friends. Instead, we had to just eat it together in this house we’re all living in while watching our favorite movie. I don’t know how to go on.”

Lindsay’s friend Catherine Bell ‘21 explained further, “Her mom is unemployed now. I mean, she was before too; her dad’s the family breadwinner, but still. It’s been hard on Lindsay.”

Lindsay has had a hard time adapting to quarantine. “I just feel like I can’t breathe sometimes. Not literally, like a COVID patient, but figuratively, because my bf is super needy.” She continued, as her friends played Mario Kart and mixed cocktails, “Everyone is super isolated right now, and that’s really hard. It’s like I’m going to be dealing with the ramifications of this time forever because, you know, there’s no vaccine for trauma.”

At press time, Lindsay posted to her private Instagram story under a picture of her and her friends crammed onto a couch: “Yes we are depressed, yes we are unemployed, yes things suck. but still #LoveIsland. PS If anyone needs a friend rn, I totally get what you’re going through, so reach out! Love!”

-OK ‘21