Oh Nooo Ahahaha, it’s Half-Cup Half-Cup?!

Woahhhh did they just hit our last cup?? I’m so off my game tonight arrghgh, I can’t believe it babe!!! Do you know what that means?! Hold on hold on ssshhsh, it’s like this wild thing the brothers do here where we…heheh…take our shirts off when the game gets half-cup half-cup. Craaazzyyy I know. House rules I guess ahahah….right. So I’m just gonna, y’know, take my shirt off now if you don’t mind. With the duuuudes…

…Hey, I know you’re just a girl ahaha but you’re, like, totally welcome to do it too. We keep things inclusive around here, y’know? If you want. *heavy breathing*

Wait woahhh slow down, don’t overexert yourself! You must be getting suuuper warm…you can, like, cool off if you need. Without your shirt maybe? You gotta stay in the game! Just drop it with my stuff on that bench over there, I promise no one will take it ahah, we’re nice guys. Except for Jake though, he’s such a dick. Can’t believe he’s chapter president or whatever ughh. We shouldn’t let him beat us just cause you’re too sweaty or whatever. Just maybeeee think about it? Your shirt? For the win.

Oohh geez that save was too close!!! You know shirts make lots of drag or whatever right? That cute top’s making you less aerodynamic girl ahahah what the fuuuck…

…huhmuhnuhhuhmuhnuh…

…h-hey, you remember that house rule? Yeah the one about taking shirts off when it’s half-cup half-cup. Jake’s gonna totally kick our asses if you stick with suboptimal aerodynamics eheheh. Fuckin’ Jake, right..?

SHIT. SHIT!! I CAN’T BELIEVE WE LET JAKE WIN!! ARRGHGHH!!!! RRNRNNGHH…!! Hrrnnnghghh….ugh…sorry I have such a fierce competitive spirit, babe. I’m like a lion. Where’s my consolation hug at? You wanna play again? Just make sure you don’t get us tree’d since it’d totally suck if we had to run around the house butt naked together ahahahahaaaahhh.

— LA ’25


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