PLEASE PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE TAP ME
Dear Dartmouth Senior Societies, I hope this letter finds you well! I’m writing to you because I really really really would love to be tapped. I heard all my ’24 friends got tapped and it…
Articles by Jacko
Dartmouth Removes All Red Flags, Making Frat Boys Datable
Gentlemen from a variety of Greek houses became incredibly datable Friday night after Dartmouth Residential Operations removed all red flags from their personalities. “I don’t know what it is,” said Margo Robinson ‘24, “but something…
Is Your Baby an Adorkable Misogynist? Casting Call for YOUNGER SHELDON
Audiences across the world mourned when CBS announced that season 7 of Young Sheldon, which ends on May 16th, will be the last outing for the Big Bang Theory spinoff. How will America survive without…
Oh Nooo Ahahaha, it’s Half-Cup Half-Cup?!
Woahhhh did they just hit our last cup?? I’m so off my game tonight arrghgh, I can’t believe it babe!!! Do you know what that means?! Hold on hold on ssshhsh, it’s like this wild…
Introducing Zip Zap Zop Car, Sponsored By Dartmouth Theater!
The College is excited to announce that a new service will be coming to campus in the spring! You’ve heard of ZipCar, now get ready for Zip Zap Zop Car, named after the popular theater…
Breaking News Update: Classes Canceled Tomorrow Due to Intergalactic Cosmic Calamity
After careful deliberation, Dartmouth administration has decided that all classes and scheduled operations will be put on hold tomorrow. The decision is largely based on tomorrow’s weather forecast, which predicts an inevitable cosmic calamity, the…
DHMC Introduces Program for Good Sam Regulars: the IV Unlimited Plan
IV Unlimited Plan The IV Unlimited is Dartmouth’s preferred drinking plan. It provides the ultimate in inpatient hospital care, with unlimited access to our flagship medical center, DHMC. Here, students can look forward to the…
Feb. 29 Exclusive: Addie Perkins’s 21st Birthday Bash
Addie Perkins, 21, of Rochester, NY, is excited for her birthday party tonight — and even more excited to try alcohol for the first time! “It feels like all of my friends turned 21, like,…
The Power of Charisma: An Inquiry into First Year Trips Croo
Applications for First Year Trips Croo just opened, and it is a highly sought after bunch. Each year, a select group of students take on the task of welcoming the incoming class to our beloved…
Top 6 Ways To Subtly Brag About Your Vitamin D Deficiency During Winter Term
6. Wouldn’t it be crazy to like, have Vitamin D in your system? I personally can’t imagine it. 5. Seasonal depression goes so hard when you have a Vitamin D deficiency. I’m all, “ooh sad,”…
Sororities to Adopt More Equitable “Golden Ticket” Rush Process
Campus is abuzz this week with the typical chaos of rush sweeping through. While this is an exciting time for some, the annoyances of computerized algorithms, petty grudges against potential new members, and an overall…
Dartmouth to Right Historical Wrong by Removing All Housing
While Dartmouth College now strives to embrace diversity and equality, this has not always been the case. In a particularly egregious example, Dartmouth denied housing to its black students, forcing them to find off campus…