In the course of discussions to strip Dartmouth’s home for visual arts of its namesake, the College has decided upon a solution for cleansing the space of its negative associations: the college will be dumping…
After fielding complaints about the high cost of laundry, the Fayerweather buildings have decided to introduce a new reduced-cost option: the floor. “Yeah, the laundry rooms down there always flood when it rains,” said an…
In light of complaints about the “rigor and intensity” of the Ultimate Frisbee team, the Penultimate Frisbee team has emerged: a space for folks who “enjoy the sport of frisbee but, like, are more chill…
A new congressional committee charged with investigating the origins of the COVID-19 virus has already yielded results. Preliminary findings indicate that the currently dominant XBB.1.5 omicron strain first mutated in none other than the Chi…
With the last Pitch Perfect movie being five years behind us, the unwarranted desire and popularity of a cappella is duly fading away. That was until recently with a new addition to the Dartmouth a…
In a stunning move, Dartmouth Dining Services has announced the imminent implementation of a new nutrition campaign at the College: the “Eat Conscious” Program. “The administration has informed us that Dartmouth’s student population has surpassed…
Winter can be a time of loneliness and homesickness, especially in the cold, dark winter months. Looking to get out of a rut? Try and make some friends on your floor! Item #1: Introduce Yourself!…
During this winterim break, my social media feeds were full of my classmates skiing, traveling abroad, and hanging out with friends from high school. While my peers spent time at home, I harbored my newfound…
No way…really???? You didn’t switch to Ivy Unlimited? But we told you to, silly! It’s fun! It’s cheap! It’s a great way to spend an extra $300 for unlimited swipes into the Class of 1953…
After remaining deadlocked in elections for over four days, the House of Representatives has finally chosen its new Speaker of the House: JBL Partybox 310 Bluetooth. He has no government or military experience, but he…
This Monday, KTYX New Hampshire local news broke a developing story at the Nugget Theater; three local children in a trench coat pretending to be a singular man are, in actuality, a man pretending to…
This past year, Dartmouth removed student loan requirements for families making less than $125,000. This step has been praised as an important stride towards an equitable campus. However, students note it pales in comparison to…