November 2, 2023 Dear Mother, Last night I attended my very first fraternity party. Oh what fun it was! The lights, the dancing, the action! Good mother, you should have seen it. There I was,…
The Dartmouth Center for Professional Development, in collaboration with the Student Research Fellowship and the Dartmouth Social Compatibility Committee, announced yesterday the creation of a new initiative to expand off-term opportunities for Dartmouth students: Fuck-Off…
On Tuesday, Dartmouth Athletic Director Joseph Gornstein announced that Dartmouth will be leaving the Ivy League athletic conference and moving to the Big 10 conference this fall. This move follows other athletic powerhouses from around…
Sources close to the matter have confirmed that Taenia Solium, the tapeworm living in your stomach, has been really enjoying 23X at Dartmouth College. “I’ve been having a blast. Everyone told me sophomore summer would…
May 23, 2023 Your Name Sent electronically to your.s.name.25@dartmouth.edu Dear Student, I have received a report from Dartmouth Breathing Services that you breathed 2 gallons of air over the allotted 2,000 gallons per day without…
Listen up fellas! Hot guy summer is just around the corner, and now’s the perfect time to make sure your smokin’ hot bod is in tip-top shape for the ladies. After all, there’s nothing worse…
It is distressing to those walking through this town, or traveling through the countryside, to see so many Dartmouth undergraduates with taut brows, rocking themselves back and forth in dark alleyways. These students, rather than…
To kick off the summer, we’ve decided to spotlight a classic Dartmouth pastime: decompressing in the great outdoors. We recently asked Charles “Cocker” Spaniel ‘24 to talk about the copious amounts of time he spent…
8 AM: Wake up early to go loudly mow the lawn outside of everyone’s window. 8:15 AM: Drop my kids off at school. 8:30 AM: Turn off the stove in Foco to make sure all…
No like seriously guys, I don’t know what happened. Was it something I ate last night? I woke up and I had to go so so so bad, so I rushed out of my dorm…
At first, I never thought it could be me. The films of my youth promised that I would be Troy Bolton, that I would be Ferris Bueller, that I would be smooth, charming, handsome, and…
The presence of ChatGPT has been growing steadily in Attie Rimmel ‘25’s life. “Well, I first used ChatGPT super minimally. Honestly, just to help me do background research for classes. But then I realized the…