Even if you thought you’d seen it all, you ain’t seen nothing Sovi-yet. This October’s surprise smash hit is taking America by storm, and critics are raving. No matter where you come from, everyone will…
Dear reader, It is with the utmost regret that we announce that we are retiring from writing satire. For over a century, we at The Dartmouth Jack-O-Lantern have done our utmost to keep with the…
Everyone knows that when you book a ticket to a Guy McPerry show, you have to be ready to get PROVOKED! He crosses the line and he doesn’t give a DAMN what you think about…
On February 26th, reports began to flood in of a new foreign object in US airspace. President Biden had recently finished dealing with the Chinese spy balloon, which had already caused a minor scare among…
(Washington) In the midst of the rising inflation crisis, President Joe Biden has announced a comprehensive, one-step plan to reverse things entirely: making everything cost the same amount. When asked to elaborate at a press…
After recent complaints about price changes, Dartmouth Dining Services has decided to appropriately adjust the prices of our late night dining options to better meet the needs of the Dartmouth community. We are proud to announce…
Local Dartmouth Coach driver Bill Wright put the ol’ “get hit by college vehicle, get free tuition” myth to the test on Tuesday when he struck just under 900 undergraduate students with his bus across…
It’s a fragile matter. Ladies are to be seen but not heard, at least that’s what Papa always told me. But I always felt like he listened to my silly ladylike quibbles and quandaries. Met…
Amid recent complaints about Collis’ lunch special being exclusive and costly, DDS has introduced a new low-cost, high-impact lunch special: Marlboro Reds. DDS Director Jake Wozinski commented on the motivation behind this new menu item….
Everyone on the main drag knows that Zip Jacobs can keep a secret. They call me Zip for how fast I can get the dish and for how I keep it zipped if it’s gotta…
On Feb. 14th, the College received multiple complaints from staff at Pine on Valentine’s Day regarding the ‘take your professor to lunch’ program. Currently, the program’s voucher covers lunch for up to three students and…
The WGSS department was established at Dartmouth in 1978 to take an interdisciplinary approach to some of the modern world’s most pressing issues. None take this interdisciplinary approach to the WGSS department better than Tyler…