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Campers announce plans to be literally everywhere this week
In an address to the Dartmouth population between lunch and dinner FoCo meal times on Friday, campers announced their intentions to be in every imaginable corner of campus this week. A representative for the middle…
Student Describes His Two-Class Layup Term as “Still Pretty Tough”
Despite taking two classes this summer, Jonathan Warren ’19 said in an interview that his term is “still pretty tough.” Currently enrolled in Film 27.72: Sri Lankan Indie Film Studies and Psychology 43.41: Plant Psychology,…
Ghosts Spotted at Courtyard Café
Custodians walking through the empty halls of the Hopkins Theatre have reported that, though it is closed for the summer, the Courtyard Café is being haunted by the ghosts of students still trying to order…
Dartmouth Voices: Vietnamese restaurant Pho Q to open in Hanover
A new restaurant, Pho Q, will open in Hanover in August, serving Vietnamese and Thai food. What do you think? “This restaurant is so much better than Pho King.” – Erica Anderson Social Engineering major…
Student found taking Astro 2 out of interest
Astronomy 2 student Fred Jackson is allegedly taking the course purely out of interest and not to fulfill any major or distributive requirements, sources with knowledge of the subject reported on Tuesday. In an unprecedented…
Aight Housekeeping 17S
Aight Housekeeping 17S
All eyes are on Brian, the specific Hanover High student the Green Key wristbands are designed to keep out this year
As the 2017 Green Key concert approaches, Dartmouth staff and community members alike are watching out for Brian, a Hanover High senior with the potential to cause so much destruction at this year’s event that…
James Comey Updates His LinkedIn
On May 12th, 2017, The Honorable James Comey, Former Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, was seen updating his LinkedIn page. After President Trump dramatically fired him on May 9th in a turn of…
“Now Is The Time To Come Together, Rise Up, And Fight Back,” Cry Student Groups Characterized By Exclusivity And Historic Privilege Within The Dartmouth Community
Hanover, N.H.—Over the past couple of weeks, two fraternities tired of being brutally, personally victimized by the heinous acts committed by their own members have taken it upon themselves to stand up and fight back….
Republicans Heroically Pass Plan to Avoid Catastrophic Overpopulation
On Thursday, Republicans in the House voted to pass the American Health Care Act that would, they say, prevent mankind from suffering the tragic fate of uncontrollable famine. For years, the Republican party has…
Despite Record Levels of Diversity and Achievement, Incoming Class of 2021 Contains Some Complete Assholes
HANOVER, NH — In an exciting moment for prospective and current students, faculty, administrators, and alumni alike, Dartmouth’s admissions department sent acceptance letters to 2,092 regular decision applicants for the Class of 2021 on Friday,…