We’ve all been there. You have a lot of old artillery and torture devices just lying around between wars and you just can’t figure out what to do with them. Well, instead of letting them take up space in the garage, just use these handy dandy tips to find even more exciting uses for those old killing tools!
Nuclear bombs: Use their green glow to really spice up your next Christmas party.
Tanks: Let your kids take a spin on the rotating gun and turn it into a merry-go-round!
Iron maiden: Fill it with tomatoes, olives, onions, capers, salt, pepper, extra virgin olive oil, and balsamic vinegar. Close the door, and you have yourself a tapenade.
Mace: Great for breaking up soil. You’ll be planting those daffodils in no time!
Catherine wheel: Turn it on its side. Another merry-go-round!
Sword: Great for knocking things off of high places, (if you don’t mind them getting some scratch marks, that is).
Bow and arrow: Attach streamers to the arrow, and you’ll be able to decorate for that retirement party in no time!
Slingshot: Attach a small child to the end of it and you have…you guessed it, a merry-go-round!
Hope you’ve enjoyed today’s installment of weaponry for the homemaker, and remember folks: if you can use it to brutally kill someone, then gosh darnit, you can use it around the house too!
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