Becky, Oh My God, I Fell on the Ice!

Oh my gosh, Becky, hi! I knew I’d find you here in KAF, you’re so bad! How was your midterm? Whatever, I don’t care. Anyways, I have the craziest story to tell you. You know how it’s like -15 degrees outside because we live in New Hampshire but we’re always surprised when the weather here is actually appropriate for this region? Right, well, so I walked outside in this outfit, this one right here, because like I know it’s cold but I just had to wear these boots today you know so I walk outside and everything?? Was frozen?? And naturally I’m like 15 minutes late to class and so I’m kind of running—like not running, running, you know because I mean look at this skirt but so I’m like fast walking? Like is there a word for that? Look at me when I’m talking to you. Is there a word for that? Okay I’m like fast walking to Dartmouth Hall and you know how it kind of goes up, right, like a hill but not a hill just like there are stairs and those stairs are above the—whatever, you’ve been there. You’ve been there, right? Whatever.

So I’m carrying this thing of coffee in this bottle, no not that one, the one Kayla got me for my birthday! Do you remember when we all went to the beach for spring break and she was like we need to go get matching tattoos but we got matching water bottles instead? Look at me. Do you remember? It was the water bottle that we got so we would match so that we could always find each other in the crowd like mama penguins and so that’s why we picked the exact same item that everyone else has? Becky. Yeah so it was that water bottle, but I put hot coffee in it and apparently you like, can’t do that? So my hand is burning even though it’s only like 6 degrees outside which was really confusing, you know and so I looked down to see if the coffee was leaking or whatever and so I didn’t see the ice and at that point this pack of guys—you know how they travel in packs—this pack of guys was coming up the other side of the path and anyways I wipe out like right then. See how I scuffed my boots?

I couldn’t get up because of my tote bag, you know how I carry all my books in a tote bag? So it was so heavy and it was kind of sticking my one side down and I couldn’t get up so I just spun around like a turtle? Becky?

Becky, it’s not funny. Stop laughing! Can you believe I did something like that? I am just struggling Becky. I’m sure they’re going to remember. Becky no, listen—look at me when I’m talking to you. I scratched my brand new boots, Becky. And I fell. And people could see me!

No one is struggling harder than I am at the moment. Oh my god, wait, shut up—shut up—the groupchat is just lighting up right now. Can you order me a double shot extra skim light foam no whip cinnamon cappuccino? Extra skim, that’s when they, I dunno mix it with water or something. Becky! Go! Yes I’ll pay you back. Whatever. Do you think I broke my ankle when I fell? Becky!

– CC ’21