In a shocking announcement today, a team of Dartmouth mathematicians working from Kemeny Hall revealed that all of known reality — your life and our lives, the structures of the societies we flow into and…
It’s a dog-eat-dog world, and Dartmouth’s lame ass admin doesn’t want me doggy doggin’ all over Dartmouth Hall’s steps. What’s new? Dartmouth Hall renovations have been cockblockin’ this old dog and his silent flute from…
Meet the newest addition to the Dartmouth Dining team! We are excited to announce that the Green Bean Man will be joining us this coming spring. Now, you may ask, “who exactly is the Green…
The College’s recent decision to provide KN-95 masks to students, faculty, and staff as the highly contagious Omicron variant sweeps through the nation has been commended by many as an excellent public safety measure. The…
To my beloved, This letter may come as a surprise, for you are doubtlessly unaware of my existence. Waiting patiently by the dryers, I have yet to have the honor of your presence. But alas,…
In a recent interview, when asked about his girlfriend’s study habits, Brody Sanderson ’24 instead explained his love for his girlfriend, Eliza McManthers ’24, citing her “genius, kindness, and beauty.” “She’s so nice and pretty….
Howdy Darties! As you may now know, Dartmouth Dining Services (DDS) is rolling out an exciting new system that will replace both meal swipes and Dining Dollars called DDS-Coin. We’ve attached a list of frequently…
Dartmouth college administrators, who had previously considered the student housing shortage insoluble, were shocked Monday to return to work and find a solution scrawled in messy yet earnest handwriting on a blackboard in Parkhurst Hall. …
An overwhelming ambiance of cooperation has overcome the Dartmouth campus as students have come together to end climate change once and for all. For only $10, students have the opportunity to buy an incredibly convenient…
Prince Andrew received a colossal gut punch January 13 when his military titles, along with his public acclaim, were rescinded as a result of a sexual abuse civil lawsuit. Because of the recent court rulings,…
Snow, snow, there’s finally snow!Seuss’s fun email sure did make me glow!As a wee freshman I hoped for the night,When I could get out for my first snowball fight! The clock approached twelve and I…
Take everything you know about “wake and bake” and throw it out the window. It’s that time of the morning, when your poor sleep schedule has hit you like a bag of bricks. Your professor’s…