Last Saturday, the newly renovated Hood Museum announced its new event series for the spring: Art After Getting Sloshed on a Monday. Doors will be open between the hours of 11PM and 1AM to welcome…

This week I read a letter published in the Notre Dame Student newspaper entitled “The Legging Problem” written by a Catholic mother about her deep concern with the “blackly naked rear ends” of the Fighting…

Becky what the hell I told you to meet me here at KAF half an hour ago! I know I know I’m sorry. We don’t normally get up this early on Saturdays but I need…

Look, Julia. I don’t know your life. Maybe everything is going great. But if you’re super stoked about the Jonas Brothers making music again, it kind of seems like you’re just yearning for the simpler…

Editor’s Note: In the interest of acknowledging our College’s Puritan past, this review comes from one of our most senior contributors, Ezekiel “Zeke” Ephraim Barebone. It is only right that we pause partway through this…

Would you please: free me from this cursed existence by giving me a small snail shell and the still-beating heart of a salamander? Quoted: My Father   News: *I am trapped in a glass jar…

When I, Eleazar Wheelock, founded Dartmouth College 250 years ago, I did so with a Bible, a drum, five hundred gallons of New England rum, and the purpose to tame the natives and create and…

The Dartmouth branch of the national conservative student organization Young American Lads (& Ladies) for Freedom recently organized a campaign to drop thousands of leaflets over the campus from a small aircraft. The propaganda technique,…

In an effort to improve the sustainability of campus operations, the Department of Safety and Security has announced that it is replacing its fleet of Ford Explorer SUVs with a team of ponies. “This transition…

Dearest Daddy Britain, It’s been a while, so I figured it was time we got back in touch. We are so sowwy about the things we said to you back in the day – you…