Greetings, Dartmouth! Not long ago, while relaxing at my home in the Arctic Circle, I received word that each winter, your school hosts a “polar bear swim” in your local pond. Last year I just…
I’ve been “Feeling the Bern” ever since Bernie Sanders himself gave me what doctors call “aggressive gonorrhea” and my health insurance calls “not our problem.” Bernie may have a problem with big corporations buying the…
As an active voter getting ready for the New Hampshire primary, I’m almost ready to throw my support behind Pete Buttigieg. Still, I must admit that I have one remaining reservation about voting for this…
This year, voters face a choice overwhelming in its complexity and its importance that will determine the future of American democracy. With such high stakes and different visions, this publication’s editorial board has chosen to…
During a recent campaign rally in Des Moines, IA, Democratic presidential candidate Tom Steyer vanished after a heckler in the audience yelled “Skip ad” just six seconds into Mr. Steyer’s prepared remarks. “It was totally…
Are you a [prospective, potential, incoming, new] Dartmouth student? Do you have questions about [Party Scene, Greek Life, Fraternities, Sororities, Hazing, Drinking, Hookup Culture, Sex]? Do you want to be [popular, cool, drunk, hot, deflowered]…
HANOVER, NH. — Week 3 of winter term is nearly over, and Dartmouth students now face the mind-numbing, existential dread that comes with no longer being able to ask other students about their winter break….
In a shocking revelation, it has come to light that for years the Courtyard’s Café’s most popular breakfast item, the “Bob Marley,” has, in fact, been made from the meat of the eponymous late reggae…
Dear members of the Dartmouth community, As new member recruitment begins once again in the Greek community, the Dartmouth Inter-Sorority Council would like to send a reminder that you do not have to rush!…
Sunlight scattered off the January snow as I watched Hanover slow into view through the Coach window. I thought to myself, O! What a pleasant surprise to see the Sun, which provides sure luminance for…
Aries: Mars, your guiding planet, will be ascending throughout the beginning of the year. Use this time to separate your real friendships from your fake ones. Via text, ask every person you know in your…
An extensive investigation has revealed that, for some reason, over one-half of Dartmouth students have used LinkedIn to connect to everyone with whom they have ever made eye contact. “I assumed you were only supposed…