I Am Sorry You are Trying to Study, But I Just Have to Relocate the Entire Hanover Inn Kitchen to the Quietest Part of the Library

Hello, student! Don’t mind me, bringing in all of my cooking equipment. I work at the Hanover Inn, but I am here now, in your Baker-Berry Library.

I know that the 1902 Room is where you go to get work done, and I have heard that you will get stares if you speak above a whisper. But I really don’t know what to tell you, someone told us to come here and stand in the lobby of the library and pass out, I dunno, cheese?

I hear you, now that you mention it, that perhaps the library isn’t the best place to have this reception. But we brought all these white tablecloths, are you telling me I have to take them away now?

If you wouldn’t mind just moving your stuff, that would be great. I mean I don’t want to be a disruption, I just have to set up a whole kitchen right here in the middle of the library so that some alumni can have goat cheese rolled in nuts, for some reason. I have been told that it will help you get donations. I have learned not to ask questions.

So pardon me, dear student, as I unplug your laptop charger to plug in my hotplate. This isn’t about you. This is for Dartmouth. Happy 250^th!

– CC ’21