Are you a [prospective, potential, incoming, new] Dartmouth student? Do you have questions about [Party Scene, Greek Life, Fraternities, Sororities, Hazing, Drinking, Hookup Culture, Sex]? Do you want to be [popular, cool, drunk, hot, deflowered]…
HANOVER, NH. — Week 3 of winter term is nearly over, and Dartmouth students now face the mind-numbing, existential dread that comes with no longer being able to ask other students about their winter break….
In a shocking revelation, it has come to light that for years the Courtyard’s Café’s most popular breakfast item, the “Bob Marley,” has, in fact, been made from the meat of the eponymous late reggae…
Dear members of the Dartmouth community, As new member recruitment begins once again in the Greek community, the Dartmouth Inter-Sorority Council would like to send a reminder that you do not have to rush!…
Sunlight scattered off the January snow as I watched Hanover slow into view through the Coach window. I thought to myself, O! What a pleasant surprise to see the Sun, which provides sure luminance for…
Aries: Mars, your guiding planet, will be ascending throughout the beginning of the year. Use this time to separate your real friendships from your fake ones. Via text, ask every person you know in your…
An extensive investigation has revealed that, for some reason, over one-half of Dartmouth students have used LinkedIn to connect to everyone with whom they have ever made eye contact. “I assumed you were only supposed…
While Hallmark has always excelled at creating world-class Christmas movies, their new film, “Missile-toe,” is their best yet. In this ninety minute made-for-television Christian rom-com, Holly – a widowed mother who owns her family’s mistletoe…
Reports suggest that Dartmouth students with well-developed, intellectually rigorous opinions on state repression, ethnic violence, and gender-based discrimination in countries they vacation in have posted none of these opinions on Instagram. Suzie Heider ’22, currently…
As her high school friends return to college after Thanksgiving, Jenna Davis ’22 would “literally hitch-hike, like it’s 1976 and I’m trying to get murdered” to Hanover from her native Jacksonville, Florida. “I was excited…
As December 25 approaches, all sides of the War on Christmas have resumed their annual hostilities, and Dartmouth College has churned out yet another batch of freshly converted first-years ready to join the fray for…
Oh, Perry the Platypus! Back again, I see? Well, I never saw this coming and by that I mean I totally saw this coming. Haha! There you are. Stuck between a rock and hard place….