Heartwarming: New  Hallmark Christmas Movie Features Widowed Mother and War Criminal Finding True Love and International Amnesty

Heartwarming: New Hallmark Christmas Movie Features Widowed Mother and War Criminal Finding True Love and International Amnesty

While Hallmark has always excelled at creating world-class Christmas movies, their new film, “Missile-toe,” is their best yet. In this ninety minute made-for-television Christian rom-com,…

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Woke Dartmouth Students Vacationing in Repressive Countries Speak Up on Social Media: “Had a Blast! :P”

Woke Dartmouth Students Vacationing in Repressive Countries Speak Up on Social Media: “Had a Blast! :P”

Reports suggest that Dartmouth students with well-developed, intellectually rigorous opinions on state repression, ethnic violence, and gender-based discrimination in countries they vacation in have posted…

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Dartmouth Student Would Give Anything to be Suffering at Dartmouth Instead of Home

Dartmouth Student Would Give Anything to be Suffering at Dartmouth Instead of Home

As her high school friends return to college after Thanksgiving, Jenna Davis ’22 would “literally hitch-hike, like it’s 1976 and I’m trying to get murdered”…

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Newly Radicalized ‘23s Return Home En Masse to Wage War on Christmas

Newly Radicalized ‘23s Return Home En Masse to Wage War on Christmas

As December 25 approaches, all sides of the War on Christmas have resumed their annual hostilities, and Dartmouth College has churned out yet another batch…

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Well, Perry, I decided the construction wasn’t a big enough inconvenience so I added a break-the-pipe-that-brings-water-to-the-masses-and-also-Foco-inator!

Well, Perry, I decided the construction wasn’t a big enough inconvenience so I added a break-the-pipe-that-brings-water-to-the-masses-and-also-Foco-inator!

Oh, Perry the Platypus! Back again, I see? Well, I never saw this coming and by that I mean I totally saw this coming.  Haha!…

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Student Working Way too Hard to Perform this Badly

Student Working Way too Hard to Perform this Badly

Recent sightings find that one ’23, Ethan Chen, was spotted working at FoCo, sacrificing all leisure activities in near-monastic pursuit of absolute efficiency. This has…

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History Department Uncovers Concrete Evidence that Julius Caesar was, in fact, not a Dartmouth Alumnus

History Department Uncovers Concrete Evidence that Julius Caesar was, in fact, not a Dartmouth Alumnus

  Months of research and study have culminated in the history department’s release of a 250-page report proving definitively that the prominent Roman leader Julius…

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Twas the Night Before GDXmas

Twas the Night Before GDXmas

Twas the night before GDXmas and all through the frat Not a creature was stirring, not even a gnat The white claws were put in…

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