I Am The Whorax. I Speak For The Earth.
Today is the day that we celebrate Earth. Our one great blue home till our death from our birth. No matter where on, so much beauty there lies. From immovable mountains to endless blue skies….
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“I’m So Glad That Free Food @ Now Is Back,” Says The Guy Who Just Stole Your Collis Muffin
Justin Reynolds, ‘22, has taken your Collis muffin, announcing that he is so glad that Free Food @ Now has returned in Dartmouth’s Covid-lax world. “I used to, like, Live off free food when it…
Dear Jackonomist: Seeking Macroeconomic Policy Advice For My Town
Dear Jackonomist, Given everything the world has gone through this past year, I wanted my niece and nephew’s Christmas to be extra special. Knowing how much they love building and playing in their little “Lego…
Bad Things Happen To Bad People. And I’m Fucking Disgusting.
People are always askin’, “why do bad things happen to good people?” Well I’m here to tell you: if bad things do in fact happen to good people (I wouldn’t know), then foul, FOUL things…
THANK YOU To Dirt Cowboy For Joining The FIGHT Against The LIBERAL ELITE
Thank you to Dirt Cowboy for joining the FIGHT against the LIBERAL ELITE. This Vaccine Mandate has been a direct attack on our RIGHTS as AMERICANS. Fauci and Bill Gates can not take out their…
Five Hot Tips To Fix Your Face Now That The Mask Mandate’s Lifted
With Dartmouth having just lifted the the indoor mask requirement on March 16, many students have found themselves feeling nervous about showing their faces around campus again come spring. But don’t worry, girly, this campus…
Interim Provost David Kotz Tapped To Join Administration
David Kotz ’86, Computer Science professor and former Interim Provost of the College, has just been tapped to join the Administration full-time. While most secret societies choose to remain secretive about the composition of their…
DDS Welcomes Newest Team Member: The Green Bean Man!
Meet the newest addition to the Dartmouth Dining team! We are excited to announce that the Green Bean Man will be joining us this coming spring. Now, you may ask, “who exactly is the Green…
Dartmouth Boy Loves Girlfriend He Does Not Know Anything About
In a recent interview, when asked about his girlfriend’s study habits, Brody Sanderson ’24 instead explained his love for his girlfriend, Eliza McManthers ’24, citing her “genius, kindness, and beauty.” “She’s so nice and pretty….
DDS-Coin: FAQ
Howdy Darties! As you may now know, Dartmouth Dining Services (DDS) is rolling out an exciting new system that will replace both meal swipes and Dining Dollars called DDS-Coin. We’ve attached a list of frequently…
Prince Andrew Stripped Of His Military Titles, A Devastating Blow For The English Defense Force
Prince Andrew received a colossal gut punch January 13 when his military titles, along with his public acclaim, were rescinded as a result of a sexual abuse civil lawsuit. Because of the recent court rulings,…
You Know It’s Not Wise To Throw Ice In My Eyes!
Snow, snow, there’s finally snow!Seuss’s fun email sure did make me glow!As a wee freshman I hoped for the night,When I could get out for my first snowball fight! The clock approached twelve and I…