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Category: Growth Mindset

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I’m sure by now you know that college comes with a lot of rejections. We get rejected applying to colleges, to clubs at college, to leadership positions, to the job at Boloco, to the fancy finance internship --  you name it. Here are some tips that might make rejection easier to bounce back from.

     1. Remember, it’s usually not personal.

A rejection doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not qualified or worthy. Sometimes we just aren’t a good fit for the place we’re applying to. Think about it, would you want to work with people you don’t fit in with?  

     2.  It’s okay to feel sad, upset, or however else you feel! Your feelings are valid!

You put time and effort into your application. It’s perfectly reasonable to have grief over the rejection. Something that makes me feel better is thinking about the time I spent on an application as a proportion of my life thus far. For example, three hours spent on an application is less than 0.00002% of my life. It isn’t the end of the world!

     3. On a similar note, give yourself time to process your emotions.

If you need to cry, then cry. If you need to slap around a punching bag, do that (only literal punching bags please). Do whatever helps you process your emotions, so you can release them and focus your energy on things that bring you joy!

     4. Avoid comparing yourself to others.

Okay, so Sally from Harvard got the job, but you didn’t. Who cares what Sally’s doing? You’re the most important person in your life. Your life isn’t about the job and who they did or didn’t take, your life is about you! Focus on yourself!

     5. Figure out what skills might give you an edge.

If you keep getting rejections from the same industry and feel underqualified, it’s time to change that! Find people at the companies you want to work for on LinkedIn, network and ask them what skills you should build to put you on track for a job there! If you’re new to networking, log into Dartboard (google dartboard dartmouth, and click the first link), scroll to “Resource library,” and find their resource titled “Networking Guide.”

If you got rejected from a place like Target, it’s probably less because of skills and more because you applied for departments they didn’t need people in; don’t take it to heart. 

     6. When one door closes, another opens! 

Now that you won’t be busy with your next club officer position or internship, you’ll have time for other stuff! Step back and enjoy life, work on building skills, build your network and relationships, apply for another position if you want! The possibilities are endless!

     7. Know you aren’t alone.

Maybe you were the only applicant to get rejected from this particular club or internship, but you’re still not alone! There are plenty of other people around the world getting rejections too, and there are plenty who are the only applicants rejected from their opportunities as well! The bottom line is, you aren’t alone. There are many people in the same boat, and you’re all going to arrive safely onshore one day! 

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This is the last part of the Freshman FAQ, and it focuses on wellness.

Q: I’m from a warmer, sunnier climate, and I think I’m experiencing seasonal affective disorder (SAD). What should I do?

A: Light therapy with a sunlamp is an effective treatment for SAD. Contact the Wellness Center or the Counseling Center to learn where you can access a sun lamp on campus, or make an appointment to learn other methods of coping with SAD. 

 

Q: How can I get more sleep?

A: The reason for lost sleep is different for everyone, but if you’re losing sleep due to schedule-overload, please make an appointment with an Academic Coach, who will help you with your time-management skills and managing academic-related stress. If there’s something else going on, and you want to talk about it or learn how to manage the stress it causes you, please make an appointment with our Wellness Center or Counseling Center.

 

Q: My family is putting a lot of pressure on me to succeed here. How can I manage the stress that this causes?

A: Your Undergraduate Dean is a great resource to help you overcome personal and family hardships. Talking to someone at the Wellness Center would be great as well, and for long-term stress management, you should make an appointment with the Counseling Center.

""Q: I am struggling with substance abuse, and I want to stop. Who can I go to for help?

A: For counseling, make an appointment with the Counseling Center. The Wellness Center also offers a program called BASICS, a confidential, evidence-based program to reduce high-risk drinking. Email BASICS@Dartmouth.edu to schedule a one-on-one session.

 

Q: Who can I talk to for support in dealing with sexual assault? 

A: I am sorry that you have to go through this, but please know that you don’t have to go through it alone. The Title IX Office provides a list of emergency resources. If you are in a crisis, please call 911 for medical attention or WISE, a 24-hour hotline at (866) 348-9473. WISE is a confidential resource, which means they cannot share the information you disclose unless required by law. 

For long-term help, you can contact the Counseling Center, or if you prefer pastoral counseling, contact any of the ordained clergy affiliated with the Tucker Center. They are also a confidential resource, and they are familiar with resources and processes available to address sexual assault, gender-based harassment, and other forms of sexual misconduct. You can also reach out to an active SAPA, a peer who has undergone 34 hours of support-training. While SAPAs are neither a confidential nor private resource, they will report the subject matter of your discussion to their supervisor without disclosing your name and otherwise keep the conversation private. Dartmouth College Health Service has created a gender-based violence resource page that can help you find long-term support. 

 

Q: What should I do if I think I have an eating disorder?

A: Please contact the Primary Care department at 603-646-9401 or the Counseling Center at 603-646-9442. Dartmouth College Health Service has an FAQ and resources for students with eating disorders.

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To form a habit, it’s important to chunk your habits into a series of smaller tasks. For example, a morning routine can be considered a habit broken up into the following series of tasks:

  1. Get up at the same time every day
  2. Go to the same bathroom
  3. Brush my teeth
  4. Wash my face
  5. Moisturize

My habit begins with getting up and ends with moisturizing. Because I am used to completing the three steps in between those, it is hard to skip them as they are part of the habit. 

So, if you want to change a habit to wake up earlier, you should chunk your habit with a series of other actions. For instance, you can wake up at the desired time every day, drink a glass of water, and read the news for five or ten minutes. If you want to study every day at a certain time, start your habit with an action-step, like heading to your favorite study spot, check your to do list, get out your study materials, start studying, and end the habit with a quick review of your study session.

In short, a new habit sticks best when you incorporate it into a series of other habits.  This is because the part of your brain that is activated when you carry out a habit is excited at the beginning and end of a habit, so if you begin a habit it, it will be very hard for you to not finish it. 

If you’re interested in reading the neuroscience behind why, here is the article I used as a reference: https://www.inverse.com/mind-body/how-to-change-bad-habits-in-the-brain-psychology?utm_source=Dartmouth+News+Today&utm_campaign=b0b78cb2dc-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2020_09_25&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_4ae973c30b-b0b78cb2dc-292818778

 

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Now that my time at Dartmouth is nearing its conclusion, I’ve been reflecting on the highs and lows of my Dartmouth experience. From failed friendships to amazing internships to stressful all-nighters - and everything in between, I wanted to take some time to break down what I’ve learned in my two years at the Big Green. 

So first, a little bit about me. At Dartmouth, I was a graduate student in the Master of Art in Liberal Studies Program, and I was in the Creative Writing concentration. While taking classes and subsequently working on my portfolio, I developed an interest in studying the intersections of race relations, gender, and literature. Through Dartmouth, I was able to grow as an academic and I will be entering a new graduate program in September. 

I’ve had so many highs and lows while studying at Dartmouth: academically, emotionally, and even socially. Looking back, there are four key things that I took away from all of my experiences. 

 

Don’t let Imposter Syndrome Stunt your Progress

No matter where you are on your academic journey, know that you belong where you've been placed. You being in your current academic sphere is not a mistake, and you wouldn’t be where you are if you didn't deserve it. 

As a black woman with immigrant parents, I often struggled with feelings of inadequacy and with wondering if I deserved to be at an institution such as Dartmouth. Thoughts like those will only impede your growth and negatively affect your mental health in the long run.

Comparison is the thief of happiness! Go at your own pace and recognize that your differences and uniqueness are what got you as far as you are today.  

 

Lean on the People that Actually Care About you

This is a tough one, but I believe that it deserves to be said. There are some people that will root for you openly and lovingly, and there are some that will pretend to while secretly hoping for you to fall. Follow your gut and don’t give all of your energy to everyone that you think could be a friend to you. I ended up becoming really drained and sad by trusting the wrong people. 

It’s better to have one or two close friendships that are nurturing and uplifting than to have five or six friends that talk down to you or gossip behind your back. One thing that I really had to learn was that not everyone is going to like me or want to be my friend, and that’s okay. What matters most is that you cut off people and relationships that dissuade your growth and cause you to doubt yourself! 

 

Keep your Focus on your Accomplishments and your End Goal

Take the time to celebrate your wins and don't dwell on your perceived failures. If you got a high mark on that research paper, reward yourself with an extra hour of Netflix that night. If you found a professor to write that letter of recommendation for you, celebrate with some ice cream. Safe and healthy rewards are great motivators. 

I got into the habit of always expecting perfection from myself. So when I didn’t reach that expectation, I was crushed. And when I did, I moved passed it like it was nothing. I was constantly going and making no time to breathe and appreciate the smaller moments during my Dartmouth experience. Try not to be too hard on yourself, and appreciate the journey that your on instead of only looking at the destination. 

 

Manage your Stress - no, for Real!

Prioritize self-care… in whatever ways that means for you. From bubble baths to hiking to going to therapy, I’m of the opinion that self-care is whatever relieves your personal stress and allows you to internally care for you. 

Relaxing is essential for your overall well-being, and many students at Dartmouth seem to forget how important taking care of yourself really is. Mindfulness and meditation are great strategies that a lot of college students find to be very beneficial. I, personally, find working out to be great for my mental health and my academic productivity as a whole. Do what works for you and prioritize it like you prioritize your school work and friendships. 

 

In the End, It's All About Growth

At the end of the day, I grew more over the last two years then I did in the previous ten. I learned a lot of hard lessons, pushed myself farther than I ever could have thought possible, and grew a new appreciation for who I am as a person. I'm ready to tackle academia and my personal relationships in ways that I never would have considered if I did not attend this institution. To any new students (graduate or undergrad) that are nervous about what Dartmouth may hold for you, my advice for you would be to take each lesson as an adventure and an avenue to grow into yourself. Enjoy the journey!

 

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Graduate school is not in everyone’s future. But for those of you who are considering diving into getting an advanced degree, it would serve you well to really consider what that would consist of. It can be a wonderful opportunity to expand your horizons academically and for your future career. 

However, graduate school is a whole different ball game from undergrad. Expectations, class structures, and social norms all differ drastically. One of the biggest issues that new graduate students run into is that they don’t foresee the many changes that are expected to occur in them academically and professionally between undergrad and grad school.

Preparation is key during that transitional time, and here are some key things that you can keep in mind if you are thinking about entering graduate school sometime in the near (or even distant) future. 

 

Hand-holding vs. Mentoring

In graduate school, there is an understanding that professors are closer to being colleagues of sorts to their students rather than authoritative figures. This change can feel unnatural to some, but there are many positives you can take from this. You can feel more comfortable to speak your mind in discussions and during office hours.

With this notion also comes the understanding that you, as the student, are fully in charge of your own research and academic trajectory. Gone are the days of professors hand-holding you through lectures and assignments. There is now the expectation that you are in charge of your academic life, and that professors are there to act as guides and mentors throughout your journey. 

 

Time Dedicated to Each Class

In undergrad, it’s common to take between four and six courses at one time. With the D-Plan system, the normal course enrollment is three courses per each ten-week term. That is a lot of broad material packed into a very small time frame.

Dr. Melissa Brown, a current postdoc at Pennsylvania State University, states that “each graduate class will require a lot of reading, more than you ever thought possible in college – and more than might actually be possible in a week. You’ll have to learn to prioritize the most important readings and actively skim the rest […] You’ll be expected to be prepared for seminars and to speak up and participate in the intellectual conversation [...] Higher quality is expected from your papers, presentations, and group projects”. 

Don’t let this knowledge intimidate you! In fact, think of it as an opportunity to dedicate more time to what you're truly passionate about research-wise. That is one of the main benefits of a graduate program after all! 

 

Breadth of Knowledge vs. Depth of Knowledge

In exchange for the past academic trajectory of learning a lot about a wide variety of topics, you will now be expected to take more of a deep dive into the material that you are covering. Your classes and course work are there to prepare you to compose your own individual research and thesis/dissertation.

"Be sure to “develop a clear idea of what you want to study before you start graduate school because you won’t have the same freedom to explore different disciplines as you did in college” (Brown). Flexibility decreases significantly when you enter most graduate programs. But in its place, you have more time to focus your attention on one valuable area of study. 

 

Departmental Ties vs. College/University Ties

In undergrad, students are more likely to feel a kinship for their university or college as a whole. They may feel a lot of school-centered pride (or possibly resentment depending on multiple factors). During graduate school, things change a bit.

In most graduate schools (Dartmouth graduate schools included), students are accepted to individual departments, not the school itself. Most classes and job opportunities take place in the same one or two buildings, and most interactions among students and faculty are within the department. 

Ways to get more involved with the university as a whole would be to sign up for activities that involve undergraduate interaction (ie. resident fellow programs, tutoring, mentorship programs) and/or signing up for graduate student organizations to keep you engaged with grad students from multiple departments.

Of course, this is optional, as most graduate students are more than content with keeping their social circle confined to their department! It can be easier for some as you are all working towards more similar goals with similar research endeavors. 

 

Accountability is Key

Perhaps one of the most important things to keep in mind during your transition into graduate school is the importance of taking accountability for your education. Graduate school is expensive. And whether you need to pay for your classes through being a teaching assistant, a resident fellow, and/or federal loans, it is important to keep in mind that grad school is what you make of it.

You can only get out of it what you put in. The goal is no longer to just pass and get your degree; you should be actively learning and engaging as much as possible in order to make the process worthwhile. 

Figure out an effective study system, how often you need to take breaks, and what a realistic deadline looks like to you so that you do not get overwhelmed.

Be sure that you’re ready to take on one of the most important components of graduate study, that being to “take the initiative to seek out materials to make new experimental and conceptual connections that take your research in new directions" (Stanford Biosciences).

Ease the adjustment period by being prepared. That way your transition into higher education will be smoother and you’ll be equipped with the readiness to become a true scholar. 

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