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Category: Life at Dartmouth

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I’m sure by now you know that college comes with a lot of rejections. We get rejected applying to colleges, to clubs at college, to leadership positions, to the job at Boloco, to the fancy finance internship --  you name it. Here are some tips that might make rejection easier to bounce back from.

     1. Remember, it’s usually not personal.

A rejection doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not qualified or worthy. Sometimes we just aren’t a good fit for the place we’re applying to. Think about it, would you want to work with people you don’t fit in with?  

     2.  It’s okay to feel sad, upset, or however else you feel! Your feelings are valid!

You put time and effort into your application. It’s perfectly reasonable to have grief over the rejection. Something that makes me feel better is thinking about the time I spent on an application as a proportion of my life thus far. For example, three hours spent on an application is less than 0.00002% of my life. It isn’t the end of the world!

     3. On a similar note, give yourself time to process your emotions.

If you need to cry, then cry. If you need to slap around a punching bag, do that (only literal punching bags please). Do whatever helps you process your emotions, so you can release them and focus your energy on things that bring you joy!

     4. Avoid comparing yourself to others.

Okay, so Sally from Harvard got the job, but you didn’t. Who cares what Sally’s doing? You’re the most important person in your life. Your life isn’t about the job and who they did or didn’t take, your life is about you! Focus on yourself!

     5. Figure out what skills might give you an edge.

If you keep getting rejections from the same industry and feel underqualified, it’s time to change that! Find people at the companies you want to work for on LinkedIn, network and ask them what skills you should build to put you on track for a job there! If you’re new to networking, log into Dartboard (google dartboard dartmouth, and click the first link), scroll to “Resource library,” and find their resource titled “Networking Guide.”

If you got rejected from a place like Target, it’s probably less because of skills and more because you applied for departments they didn’t need people in; don’t take it to heart. 

     6. When one door closes, another opens! 

Now that you won’t be busy with your next club officer position or internship, you’ll have time for other stuff! Step back and enjoy life, work on building skills, build your network and relationships, apply for another position if you want! The possibilities are endless!

     7. Know you aren’t alone.

Maybe you were the only applicant to get rejected from this particular club or internship, but you’re still not alone! There are plenty of other people around the world getting rejections too, and there are plenty who are the only applicants rejected from their opportunities as well! The bottom line is, you aren’t alone. There are many people in the same boat, and you’re all going to arrive safely onshore one day! 

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This is the last part of the Freshman FAQ, and it focuses on wellness.

Q: I’m from a warmer, sunnier climate, and I think I’m experiencing seasonal affective disorder (SAD). What should I do?

A: Light therapy with a sunlamp is an effective treatment for SAD. Contact the Wellness Center or the Counseling Center to learn where you can access a sun lamp on campus, or make an appointment to learn other methods of coping with SAD. 

 

Q: How can I get more sleep?

A: The reason for lost sleep is different for everyone, but if you’re losing sleep due to schedule-overload, please make an appointment with an Academic Coach, who will help you with your time-management skills and managing academic-related stress. If there’s something else going on, and you want to talk about it or learn how to manage the stress it causes you, please make an appointment with our Wellness Center or Counseling Center.

 

Q: My family is putting a lot of pressure on me to succeed here. How can I manage the stress that this causes?

A: Your Undergraduate Dean is a great resource to help you overcome personal and family hardships. Talking to someone at the Wellness Center would be great as well, and for long-term stress management, you should make an appointment with the Counseling Center.

""Q: I am struggling with substance abuse, and I want to stop. Who can I go to for help?

A: For counseling, make an appointment with the Counseling Center. The Wellness Center also offers a program called BASICS, a confidential, evidence-based program to reduce high-risk drinking. Email BASICS@Dartmouth.edu to schedule a one-on-one session.

 

Q: Who can I talk to for support in dealing with sexual assault? 

A: I am sorry that you have to go through this, but please know that you don’t have to go through it alone. The Title IX Office provides a list of emergency resources. If you are in a crisis, please call 911 for medical attention or WISE, a 24-hour hotline at (866) 348-9473. WISE is a confidential resource, which means they cannot share the information you disclose unless required by law. 

For long-term help, you can contact the Counseling Center, or if you prefer pastoral counseling, contact any of the ordained clergy affiliated with the Tucker Center. They are also a confidential resource, and they are familiar with resources and processes available to address sexual assault, gender-based harassment, and other forms of sexual misconduct. You can also reach out to an active SAPA, a peer who has undergone 34 hours of support-training. While SAPAs are neither a confidential nor private resource, they will report the subject matter of your discussion to their supervisor without disclosing your name and otherwise keep the conversation private. Dartmouth College Health Service has created a gender-based violence resource page that can help you find long-term support. 

 

Q: What should I do if I think I have an eating disorder?

A: Please contact the Primary Care department at 603-646-9401 or the Counseling Center at 603-646-9442. Dartmouth College Health Service has an FAQ and resources for students with eating disorders.

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PART 2

 

Q: There’s so much to do here that I feel overwhelmed. How do I decide which opportunities are the best for me?

A: Consult with an Academic Coach! They can help you develop your goals, which will help you see opportunities that relate to what you want to do, and your Undergraduate Dean can guide you in maximizing your Dartmouth experience.

 

Q: How do I figure out what the heck I want to do with my life?

A: For help deciding what you want to study, consult with your Undergraduate Dean. For help figuring out what you want to do after college, make an appointment with the Center for Professional Development by clicking “Dartboard Student Login” and clicking “Coaching Appointments” on the left side of the screen.

Q: I don’t have any friends while everyone else already has established friend groups. Is there any hope for me?

A: You’re going to college in the middle of a pandemic. It is completely normal to feel lonely right now. Plenty of Dartmouth students don’t find close friends until their sophomore year. Until then, I would join clubs, reach out to people in class using the zoom chat, join a tutoring group, or sign up for the Mental Health Union pen-pal program. Don’t forget to call your friends and family from back home, and if you need additional support, please contact the Wellness Center or the Counseling Center. Just know that it gets better. 

 

Q: I just made friends, and now I’m not going to see them for another four months. How can I keep up with these friendships?

A: Text them, FaceTime them, study together over Zoom, send each other updates or pictures of your hometown, send emails, or become penpals! The possibilities are endless. If you’re looking for a new friend, Mental Health Union has created a penpal sign-up that’ll match you with another Dartmouth student, and you can choose how to communicate with each other! 

 

Q: My roommate goes out every weekend even though we are in a pandemic, and I’m worried about my health and safety. What should I do?

A: Talk to your UGA! They will help you approach or settle any roommate conflicts that you have, and if it’s more serious they can refer you to another resource. 

 

Q: How can I cope with homesickness?

A: Talk about it with a friend, your UGA, a sibling who’s already left home, or a professional at the Wellness Center or the Counseling Center. You should also keep in touch with your family and friends, and bring reminders of home to campus. Give yourself time to explore Dartmouth and make it your home away from home!

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This part focuses on struggles pertaining to academics and your future career.

Q: I knew classes at Dartmouth would be challenging, but I didn’t realize how hard they would be until I got here! I’m struggling to keep up. What should I do? 

A: You should make an appointment with an Academic Coach at the Academic Skills Center! Visit the ASC website for more information. They’ll help you figure out the study strategies that will best help you adjust to the rigor of college academics. You should also go to your professors’ and TAs’ office hours with prepared questions. Plan ahead for the winter, and consider joining a Tutoring Group at the beginning of the term!  

 

Q: I feel that I’m constantly behind while everyone else has their stuff together. Is this normal? 

A: Yes, this is normal! Many students at Dartmouth experience Imposter Syndrome, which is the idea that you aren’t good enough or don’t belong here because it seems like everyone else is on a level that you feel you can’t reach. Many students also experience Floating Duck Syndrome: when you wear a cool, collected exterior, but under the surface, you’re frantically paddling to keep yourself from sinking. If you’re here, it’s because you belong here (everyone else is not as put-together as you think). If you want help sorting through the reasons you’re struggling and finding healthy coping strategies, you should book an appointment with the Wellness Center professionals.


Q: I feel like I’ll be behind my peers if I don’t do an internship during winterim or my freshman summer. What should I do? 

A: You’re still a first year student! You have plenty of time to pad your resume. I recommend enjoying your youth while you can, but if you’re really worried about it, please make an appointment with the Center for Professional Development by clicking “Dartboard Student Login” and clicking “Coaching Appointments” on the left side of the screen. 

 

Q: My professor seems to think that the 24 hours in my day are only for their class. What should I do?

A: If your professor is assigning 2000 pages of reading, and 27 lectures in a week, you should make an appointment with an Academic Coach. They’ll help you with reading strategies, time management, and figuring out what material is necessary. 

 

Q: What can I do when I’m so lost that I don’t know what questions to ask?

A: Check that you did the correct reading for the class period, review the professor’s notes to figure out where you are, ask a friend, or talk to your professor to clarify. If you’re lost because you’ve fallen behind on your work, and I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: make an appointment with an Academic Coach at the Academic Skills Center!

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Now that my time at Dartmouth is nearing its conclusion, I’ve been reflecting on the highs and lows of my Dartmouth experience. From failed friendships to amazing internships to stressful all-nighters - and everything in between, I wanted to take some time to break down what I’ve learned in my two years at the Big Green. 

So first, a little bit about me. At Dartmouth, I was a graduate student in the Master of Art in Liberal Studies Program, and I was in the Creative Writing concentration. While taking classes and subsequently working on my portfolio, I developed an interest in studying the intersections of race relations, gender, and literature. Through Dartmouth, I was able to grow as an academic and I will be entering a new graduate program in September. 

I’ve had so many highs and lows while studying at Dartmouth: academically, emotionally, and even socially. Looking back, there are four key things that I took away from all of my experiences. 

 

Don’t let Imposter Syndrome Stunt your Progress

No matter where you are on your academic journey, know that you belong where you've been placed. You being in your current academic sphere is not a mistake, and you wouldn’t be where you are if you didn't deserve it. 

As a black woman with immigrant parents, I often struggled with feelings of inadequacy and with wondering if I deserved to be at an institution such as Dartmouth. Thoughts like those will only impede your growth and negatively affect your mental health in the long run.

Comparison is the thief of happiness! Go at your own pace and recognize that your differences and uniqueness are what got you as far as you are today.  

 

Lean on the People that Actually Care About you

This is a tough one, but I believe that it deserves to be said. There are some people that will root for you openly and lovingly, and there are some that will pretend to while secretly hoping for you to fall. Follow your gut and don’t give all of your energy to everyone that you think could be a friend to you. I ended up becoming really drained and sad by trusting the wrong people. 

It’s better to have one or two close friendships that are nurturing and uplifting than to have five or six friends that talk down to you or gossip behind your back. One thing that I really had to learn was that not everyone is going to like me or want to be my friend, and that’s okay. What matters most is that you cut off people and relationships that dissuade your growth and cause you to doubt yourself! 

 

Keep your Focus on your Accomplishments and your End Goal

Take the time to celebrate your wins and don't dwell on your perceived failures. If you got a high mark on that research paper, reward yourself with an extra hour of Netflix that night. If you found a professor to write that letter of recommendation for you, celebrate with some ice cream. Safe and healthy rewards are great motivators. 

I got into the habit of always expecting perfection from myself. So when I didn’t reach that expectation, I was crushed. And when I did, I moved passed it like it was nothing. I was constantly going and making no time to breathe and appreciate the smaller moments during my Dartmouth experience. Try not to be too hard on yourself, and appreciate the journey that your on instead of only looking at the destination. 

 

Manage your Stress - no, for Real!

Prioritize self-care… in whatever ways that means for you. From bubble baths to hiking to going to therapy, I’m of the opinion that self-care is whatever relieves your personal stress and allows you to internally care for you. 

Relaxing is essential for your overall well-being, and many students at Dartmouth seem to forget how important taking care of yourself really is. Mindfulness and meditation are great strategies that a lot of college students find to be very beneficial. I, personally, find working out to be great for my mental health and my academic productivity as a whole. Do what works for you and prioritize it like you prioritize your school work and friendships. 

 

In the End, It's All About Growth

At the end of the day, I grew more over the last two years then I did in the previous ten. I learned a lot of hard lessons, pushed myself farther than I ever could have thought possible, and grew a new appreciation for who I am as a person. I'm ready to tackle academia and my personal relationships in ways that I never would have considered if I did not attend this institution. To any new students (graduate or undergrad) that are nervous about what Dartmouth may hold for you, my advice for you would be to take each lesson as an adventure and an avenue to grow into yourself. Enjoy the journey!

 

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